Patton Oswalt Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions

Hi, I'm Patton Oswalt, and I'm doing a

WIRED autocomplete interview.

I'm an open book, anything you need to know,

it's probably online.

The first question is, Does Patton Oswalt,

ooh, this could get spicy.

The number five response, Did Patton Oswalt

stab Snoop Dogg?

No, I don't have the reach.

Does Patton Oswalt

cook?

Yes, if you like SpaghettiOs, I cook.

Does Patton Oswalt have a podcast?

I don't, but when I do, it would probably

be called Generally Patton.

Does Patton Oswalt narrate The Goldbergs?

Oh, he does, even when he's not being paid.

Does Patton Oswalt have siblings?

I have a younger brother, Matt Oswalt.

Funny you can be on Twitter, little bastard.

Next question, Is Patton Oswalt in 22 Jump Street?

He is.

Is Patton Oswalt Albanian?

I'm not.

Is Patton Oswalt movies?

I can movies, sometimes I don't movies,

but often times, I movies.

Is Patton Oswalt dead?

Check my Wikipedia, I guess.

Is Patton Oswalt

a Democrat?

I am.

What Patton Oswalt,

what, Patton Oswalt?

What happened to Patton Oswalt?

Carbs.

What movies has Patton Oswalt been in?

Check your IMDb, it starts with Down Periscope

and it ends with, Huh?

What college did Patton Oswalt go to?

Patton went to the College of William and Mary,

in Williamsburg, Virginia.

Great place to see drunks in colonial clothes.

What is Patton Oswalt real name?

Stud Laser, but I changed it for show business.

What is Patton Oswalt Halloween costume?

This last year was one of The Riddler's goons,

and before that, I was Raven's demon father,

and before that, Doctor Octopus.

And next year, I'll be dressed as hope.

Finally, Who Patton Oswalt,

who Patton Oswalt?

Who does

Patton Oswalt voice?

Just go to IMDb, these people don't have IMDb?

Who is opening for Patton Oswalt?

Sometimes, a young comedian.

Sometimes, The Who.

Look, they need work.

Who is Patton Oswalt in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.?

I'm four different characters who all look like me.

And finally, number one, Who Patton Oswalt's,

boy, this is terrible grammar.

Who Patton Oswalt's brother?

Who Patton Oswalt's brother?

Matt Oswalt brother.

Hey, my fans who are Googling me, guys,

I'm flattered you Googled me.

It's better than not being Googled.

That's a bummer.