Technology seems so cold. Circuits, processors, glass. The idea of mixing tech and sex can seem equally chilly: complicated devices, teledildonics, porn (so much porn). But that’s all wrong. Technology is changing everything about our sex lives, but there is nothing cold about it.
However visceral, animalistic, or fleeting, sex is, at its core, about human connection. And we now live in the most connected age in history.
Getting it on is different today. How we find partners, how we learn what excites us, how we flirt, how we make dates, how we grow closer, how we turn each other on—all of it has changed. Some of these changes are subtle. Consider the rush of sending a racy message, compounded by watching those dots as you await the response. It’s a modern-day swoon. Other changes are profound: With the tools on your smartphone right now you can likely get laid in the next hour. Whether you’re hooking up, hanging out, happy alone, or hitched, today you use technology to do it.
Sexuality is as personal and subjective as anything about us. And so there are dating sites and apps for finding a religious match, chatting with a stranger, sharing an experience, and cuddling. There are online communities for every orientation. There are sites for every fetish, sex toys for every taste and anatomy, and yes, there is porn for every predilection. The web has flattened the world—enabling even the most isolated individual to find others who share their specific interests and desires. In many ways it has made us all both voyeurs and exhibitionists in our own personal sexual landscape.
And there’s something resolutely neutral about the technology now fueling our lust: It is taboo-agnostic. You can use it to cheat on someone as easily as you can to romance them. It’s nonjudgmental. You can visit a site to pay for sex or to connect with people who choose to abstain from it. Whether you’re using a vibrator alone in your room, swiping right and meeting up, or Skyping with a distant lover, technology is there for you. It will not disapprove or scold. It will only enable. Our “cold” technologies have turned up the heat.
And so this issue of WIRED brings you stories about love and sex in the digital age. This is how we do it today. Get ready to plug in, turn on, and get off. —Caitlin Roper
