This article was taken from the September issue of Wired magazine. Be the first to read Wired's articles in print before they're posted online, and get your hands on loads of additional content by subscribing online
Charisma isn't hereditary; it's a behavioural skill. Charismatic people don't have magical powers and they aren't necessarily better looking -- they just behave in a different way. Tom Salinsky and Deborah Frances- White (below) of The Spontaneity Shop -- a theatrical company that works with corporate clients to improve employees' interpersonal communication -- share their secrets on pumping up your popularity.
BE COMFORTABLE
Charismatic people are happy to take up space and time. They don't fidget nor do they make unnecessary movements. To feel more powerful, try holding your head still while you speak and deliver your words more slowly. Now try the opposite -- try touching your face and speaking faster Notice how diminished you feel?
DON'T COMPROMISE
Asserting yourself can make you feel more dominant, but this can be at the cost of charm. Yet when we want people to like us, we often become less powerful and assertive. Charismatic people aren't ones to strike a happy medium -- they're the ones with lots of power and lots of charm. Be sure to work on both.
EMBRACE WEAKNESS
Empower and praise other people -- without making them feel patronised. Charismatic people don't feel that it diminishes them to give praise, admit fault or show weakness. Barack Obama, when challenged on his appointment of Tom Daschle (who was caught up in a tax scandal), cheerfully admitted to his cabinet, "I screwed up" -- looking no less confident than when giving his victory speech at Grant Park.
BE PLAYFUL
Research has shown that conversational playfulness makes people laugh and bond as a group much more than wit or humour. So don't feel pressured to come up with clever one-liners. Being relaxed and cheerful beats trying too hard.
KNOW YOURSELF
This framework isn't a one size- fits-all solution. Your charisma has to reflect your personality, and so everyone's version of these behaviours must be different in order to be authentic. However, the key points of powerful behaviour and empowering others are almost always the same. Helen Mirren, Eddie Izzard, George Clooney, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton are all very different people, but each of them has found ways of being the most relaxed, confident and charming person in any given room.
BUILD IT UP
Practice is key. Barack Obama used to have a reputation for being a tedious speaker until he started studying the oratory skills of Baptist preachers. Start small: order your coffee with more authority, but flash a warm smile. Try to make the barista laugh.
Feeling bold? Order a round of drinks at a bar, and then tell the person behind the bar you've left your wallet at your seat. If they let you take the drinks, they like and trust you. Remember to go back and pay for them though
This article was originally published by WIRED UK
