This article was taken from the October issue of Wired magazine. Be the first to read Wired's articles in print before they're posted online, and get your hands on loads of additional content by subscribing online
The internet-dating scene can appear formidable. Not only do you have to learn its etiquette, you still risk rejection -- but at least you're not trying to catch someone's eye across a room.
Here'showto find your perfect match.
Choose your site carefully
You can launch yourself into a vast online universe such as Match.com, or tailor your search. "If your lifestyle revolves around your job or a particular passion, start with a niche site," says Yvonne Rice, former dating-agency director and author of Love,
Sex, Lies and The Internet Mouse Trap.
Make your profile effective
Create a catchy screen-name and don't give away too much information -- especially contact details. "Make it clear who you are and what type of person would be suitable," says Rice. "And come from a positive perspective. Being negative puts you immediately in the 'fruitcake' bracket."
Choose your photos carefully
"If a woman doesn't put up a full-length photo, men think she's fat; a man wearing a baseball cap means little or no hair," explains dating coach Julie Spira. "I suggest people get photos professionally done. You need three: a head-shot, a full-length photo and an activity shot."
Beware of lies
As a result of sites with age-parameter searches, people tell fibs. "I encourage people to write within their profile at some point: 'my pictures are accurate, but my age is really x,'" says Spira. Rice recommends honesty: "If you lie about your age, you're putting deception in from the word go."
Start to interact
"Only send three messages to each other and don't make them too long," says Rice. People can read things into online interaction. "Humour is dangerous," she says. "It can be easily misinterpreted."
Be personal: don't send out generic messages. "Copy and paste equals erase," says Spira. "And take your online relationship offline as soon as possible." Rice agrees: "The more communication you have that isn't face to face, the more your intuition becomes skewed." Arrange to meet in public via the dating site, so you don't run the risk of being stalked.
Treat people with respect
"A lot of dissent is created when someone is contacted, responds and hears nothing back," says Rice. "It's a rejection. It's like walking up to someone in a bar, saying, 'Hi, nice to meet you. I'd like to get to know you,' and then walking away again."
This article was originally published by WIRED UK
