The technology enthusiast sees the ad banner for the technology product that might help fulfill his lifestyle aspirations. The technology enthusiast clicks there.
The website of the technology product convinces the fierce believer in a brighter tomorrow that he has been plagued by a pressing problem that only the technology product will solve.
During moments and interludes in the following days, the technology enthusiast daydreams of putting the technology product to conspicuous use.
The early adopter is eager to mention his impending ownership of the technology product in casual conversation but never quite finds an appropriate segue.
The technology enthusiast misses the first attempted delivery of the technology product because the cardboard box full of innovation and promise arrives at an inconvenient time for the technophile’s increasingly hectic schedule and its dollar value requires a signature.
The self-admitted geek spends half an hour on hold arranging a second delivery attempt. Later, as the technology enthusiast scribbles what passes for a signature when you’re not using a real pen, the delivery person smiles the thin smile of a customer-facing service worker who never receives tips.
He who always registers his alias on new social media outlets in case they gain traction—not that the enthusiast is really interested in additional social media, what more is there to share—soon realizes he has forgotten to purchase the necessary cable for the technology product, despite learning that the required cable is not included from multiple product unboxing videos.
The habitual reader of tech reviews that rate nothing lower than 8.8 travels to the nearest big box store and pays what he considers an exorbitant amount for the missing cable because the technology enthusiast is excited about the technology product and wishes to use it immediately.
The technology enthusiast powers on his new piece of precision design and finest craftsmanship with giddy anticipation.
The zealous advocate of one particular operating system over another discovers, over the course of many frustrating hours, that the device does not work as advertised.
He who has more camera rolls in the cloud than time suspects that the new piece of kit which promises to vastly improve and simplify his life—and, by extension, the lives of those closest to him—may not work at all.
The man who doesn’t wait for a lull before looking back at his mobile screen rifles through the packaging once more and confirms that the entirety of the technology product’s documentation is a wordless multi-step tutorial on how to power on the device and a web address from which one can purchase accessories. The technology enthusiast visits the website. Nowhere among the branded cables and adapters is there mention of his problem or indeed any problem that the device might encounter, other than the problem the device was intended to solve, has not solved, and has, in its own way, exacerbated, since the technology enthusiast was largely unaware he had the problem in need of solution until his introduction to the product now in his possession.
He who has lied about his age and income in online surveys for no discernible reason tweets a support question to the manufacturer’s marketing and promotions account and receives a response advising him to contact the company by other means.
He who has more than once followed step-by-step instructions on how to modify a piece of hardware or firmware, only to discover midway through that he has no real understanding of what comes next, collects several identical, not-entirely-grammatical responses to support queries concerning the showstopping problem he has encountered in his attempted deployment of the technology product.
He who does not consistently leave feedback, positive or negative, on all his online transactions calls the only number he can find associated with the technology product and navigates a phone tree that requires him to say nothing twice and listen on speaker to countless iterations of a 45-second hold music loop, not that he was timing it, but the number is for sales only and the order takers do not deviate from their scripts.
He who disdains article links that begin with numbers and yet clicks on them routinely finds a Facebook group for users of the technology product. The online community is unable to offer solutions to his problem, but does feel his pain.
The man who sees possibility in every problem pours himself a drink and thinks of the many and various things he’s owned, thinks about thinking about the absurdity of owning things when he has trouble owning his own feelings, but then thinks better of it.
Weeks later an email from the company selling a little piece of tomorrow today offers the technology enthusiast a discounted pre-order price for the next iteration of the technology product, which may or may not address the issue that the technology enthusiast is experiencing.
The technology enthusiast wonders whether there might be some other use for the technology product that neither he nor the product’s marketing copy has heretofore explored, one that would validate not only his purchase but also his own status as a maker in the new economy, but comes up with nothing.
The man with hundreds of online friends he wouldn’t recognize in person contemplates how doing things the old, outdated way really wasn’t so crass and inefficient and may even have allowed for nuances now lost in the modern era.
He who knows the future is inevitable power-cycles the technology product one last time because why the hell not.
The technology enthusiast contemplates a long-overdue examination of life goals, perhaps with the aid of psychoactive substances, nostalgically recalling a time when he’d figured out all the answers to all the wrong questions, but realizes he has even less time and patience for an existential crisis than he has for errant engineered products and so forgoes such an endeavor.
He who has never quite achieved the proper work-life balance sips his coffee and sets the technology product aside for when he can find more time.
The technology enthusiast never does find more time.
The product with innovative technology and even more inventive marketing collects dust and regret.
The person who often confuses technological gain with civil achievement discovers a new bit of shiny to assuage his disappointment and restore his faith in the future.
Years later the technology product will come up in conversation and the technology enthusiast will say “Yeah, I had one of those,” and shrug and consider and understand that revolutions are not about a before and after that belong to history, but are instead about the continuous struggle in the here and now that belongs to the people, and that all progress comes at a price.
Creative Art Direction by Redindhi Studio.
Illustrations by Giacomo Gambineri.
Thanks to Nick Sweeney and Tess Townsend.
