Aside from a deep love of the color red, there's only one thing Deadpool and *Veep'*s Selina Meyer truly have in common: hyperprofane one-liners. Like, straight-outta-The Aristocrats turns of phrase. From F-bombs to "dick" quips, both antiheroes have potty mouths for the ages; they're both so fond of working blue, in fact, that we decided to make a game out of it. Below, you'll find a list of censor-maddening lines; all of them were spoken either on Veep or in Deadpool, out today. Now it's up to you: which were uttered by Madam President, and which come courtesy of the Merc with a Mouth? (The answers are below the trailer.)
1. "Have you ever heard David Beckham speak? It sounds like he mouth-sexed a can of helium."
2. "You like to have sex and you like to travel? Then you can fuck off."
3. "God, there's so many people in here. It's like a Mormon orgy."
4. "I've never said this, but don't swallow."
5. "You need to seriously ease up on the Bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier."
6. "Don't give me that Quaker-in-a-titty bar look."
7. "I need that stuff that junkies use, you know? When it takes a cop like 15 bullets to put him down."
8. "I'm living to 102, then dying. Like Detroit."
9. "Jesus Christ, it's like I made you in a computer."
10. "I mean, smoke some weed for Christ's sake, right?"
11. "[I'm looking for] a 200-pound sack of assholes named Francis."
12. "I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late '90s."
13. "Why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the fucking point?"
14. "How can I help you? Besides luring children into a panel van..."
15. "That wheezing bag of dick tits has it coming."
16. "I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex."
DEADPOOL: 1, 4, 5, 8, 9, 12, 14, 15, 16
SELINA MEYER: 2, 3, 6, 7, 10, 11, 13
