While You Were Offline: People Have Strong Opinions About Peas

It might be a holiday weekend, but the Internet never takes time off. Over here in WIRED Towers, we've decided to split the difference with a slightly truncated (hey, we'd like some time off ourselves, thanks very much) roundup of what people have been talking about this week on the Internet. Don't worry; the answer, it turns out, is "even more ridiculous stuff than usual," and that's not even going anywhere near anything related to Donald Trump.

What Happened: Apparently, the Internet really doesn't want to be told how to make its guacamole.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Pity the poor social media staff of The New York Times. Wednesday, they published the above tweet to promote a new food story on the site.

It turns out, this was not a popular suggestion:

Well, that's just the Internet, right? It's not like people who have more important things to do with their time responded...

OK, so that's what the Democratic president thinks, but what about the other pa—wait, they responded as well?

Yes, that's the verified account of the Texas Republican Party responding to the NYT story, without being prompted like President Obama. At least Jeb Bush waited until someone asked.

The Takeaway: On the plus side, at least we've now found something that can break the political gridlock in the country.

What Happened: Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James thought that it would be a good idea to hold a Twitter Q&A. It wasn't.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: In theory, it sure seemed like a good idea. E.L. James, author of the 50 Shades of Grey books, was going to answer fan questions about the series (and especially the new release, Grey) on Twitter. The series had its start online, so what could go wrong?

Unsurprisingly, the response got more attention than the announcement, leaving many wondering how any publicist could have imagined this would've been a good idea in the first place.

The Takeaway: Twitter user Summer Heacock put it best:

What Happened: With Greece facing economic collapse, the Internet responded the only way it knew how: by launching a crowdfunding campaign to save it.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: As Greece tumbled towards economic chaos, one man—Brit Thom Feeney—seized the moment and did what so many of us wish we had thought of first, launching an Indiegogo campaign to bail the country out of debt. It was so successful that it temporarily crashed the site.

"I wondered, could the people of Europe just have a crack at fixing this?" Feeney wrote in The Guardian, explaining his thinking behind the campaign. "Less talk, more direct action. If we want to sort it, let's JFDI (just effing do it)!"

It's not just the people who followed; the press did too, with a lot of stories being written about the campaign. Of course, quite what Feeney is going to do with the money after he hits his goal remains a mystery. Can he really just give it all to Greece?

The Takeaway: Look, if this somehow pans out, we're totally behind the government launching a Kickstarter to boost the economic recovery. Whatever works, right?

What Happened: Siri is sick of you asking stupid questions, dammit.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Let's all blame Aaron Paul for this one, 'kay?

Actually, you should go ahead and do it, because the answer is a little surprising, proving that Siri can be snarlier than you might expect, a fact that quickly went viral, much to Apple's almost inevitable pleasure.

The best response to the whole thing came from *Sesame Street'*s Cookie Monster, who was actually mentioned in Siri's original snark:

The Takeaway: The problem with this going viral is that it's just going to encourage all the Apple programmers to do more of this. Sure, it seems like fun now, but just wait until you ask Siri something important like "How much blood can a human being lose before they die?" and she responds "Your mother."

What Happened: Almost a week late, Beyoncé finally issued her response to the Supreme Court's marriage equality ruling. It was worth the wait.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs

What Really Happened: Queen B might not be timely, but it's hard to deny that this isn't exactly what everyone wanted to see from her in response to the Supreme Court's ruling last week:

The Takeaway: There are no words. No, really. None.