While You Were Offline: Ruby Rose Can't Make You Gay

If one tweet sums up the second half of this week, it's probably this one.

The mass murders in Charleston may not really be a topic for this column, despite the fact that it's been the subject that's dominated the Internet—like everything else, let's be honest—over the last few days. For one thing, it's hardly a subject that you might have missed, but it's also such a big subject with so many different facets that we'd be unsure where to start with it. Nonetheless, the conversations that have taken over the web in the days since the attack have been worthwhile ones, especially when it comes to discussing media bias about race.

In fact, while offline media has fumbled the question about how to describe the attack—was it a hate crime or the actions of a mentally ill individual?—the Internet has offered a number of arguments in favor of calling it terrorism.

Social media has, of course, been filled with commentary on the subject, after proving to be the place to follow the story as it unfolded Wednesday night, combined with much complaining about why television news was so slow to pick the story up. As a source of interesting voices talking about an important subject and opening up viewpoints you might not have considered yourself, it remains a necessary tool in coming to terms with something of this scope. It's worth remembering, mind you, that social media has an uneven record when it comes to responding to tragedies so caveat emptor (for what little it may be worth, we've found Deray McKesson's Twitter feed essential over the last few days, but your mileage may vary). Something like this really shows the value of the Internet, for good and bad.

But, again, this might not be a topic for this column. That's what the following are for, instead.

What Happened: It finally happened: Donald Trump announced that he is running as a presidential nominee for the Republican party, and it was far better than the Internet could have hoped.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: After literally years of teasing, this week saw real estate billionaire and professional egotist Donald Trump actually throw his hat in the ring for the run to the White House. True to form, it was a campaign that started life online, with a string of tweets teasing the announcement:

Yes, Trump announced his candidacy on Periscope, making Jeb! Bush's earlier Snapchat announcement seem almost out of date. If Periscope wasn't your thing, however, don't worry; Trump also Instagrammed and YouTubed the highlights for latecomers. And what an announcement it was, featuring the traditional Trump hyperbole and melodramatic stilted speaking style we've come to expect from years of The Apprentice. It also featured a snippet of Neil Young's "Rocking in the Free World," which Young objected to, pointing out that he actually supports Democratic candidate Bernie Saunders. (The Trump campaign responded by saying that they'd paid to use the music, leading to an expanded statement from Young explaining his objections. The Trump campaign has dropped the song.)

That's not the only problem that emerged following the announcement. It also turned out the applauding masses supporting Trump as he made his ambitions official were possibly paid actors, although of course the campaign denies that, while Trump's genuinely staggering comments about Mexican immigrants ("When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending the best," he said, calling immigrants drug runners, criminals and rapists, before pledging to build a wall between the US and Mexico and making Mexico pay for it) led to a backlash all by itself.

Not that everyone was behind Trump even without those problems, of course:

And, even as Stephen Colbert parodies Trump, Sarah Palin has rushed to his defense. More importantly, though, Cher is against it. Do you need to know anything else, really? (OK, just one more thing; Trump insulted a wheelchair-bound journalist by calling him a jerk who just "sits there." OK, done now.)

The Takeaway: All of this happened within days of his announcement. Really, think what he could accomplish if he stays in the race all the way to the primaries. Still, at least it got to stop talking about that terrible Jeb! logo.

What Happened: Hey, remember that campaign to get a woman on the $20 bill? That might not be happening, but it turns out that we'll get to see a woman on the $10 bill pretty soon. Maybe.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Wednesday's announcement by the US Treasury Department that the $10 bill is to be redesigned and will soon (well, by 2020) feature a woman in the starring role was a welcome one, not least because it allowed many to offer suggestions for the position.

Not everyone was happy about the change, however; the New York Times complained about the "demotion" of current $10 face Alexander Hamilton (others felt the same), while some were just sad that Beyoncé being alive meant that she couldn't end up fitting the bill, so to speak. (Flavorwire expanded on that idea with other musicians.) There were also a couple of alternative ideas about what to do with the bill on Twitter:

The Takeaway: Why, yes, this feels like the best thing to take away from the situation for now:

What Happened: *Orange Is the New Black'*s new cast member has won many hearts since the show's return last week, but that didn't come without complications.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: So, there's absolutely no doubt that Australian model, actress, DJ and VJ, and all manner of other things Ruby Rose is this week's Hot New Thing on the Internet after her debut in the third season of Netflix's Orange Is the New Black. In fact, that appearance as the badass Stella prompted a lot of this on social media:

So much of that, in fact, that the meme provoked its own backlash. There's also the fact that Rose doesn't identify as a woman (although she does use female pronouns to refer to herself), describing herself as gender fluid, which also makes the "I'm so gay" idea not only annoying, but also technically incorrect—as was, itself, pointed out often on social media:

The Takeaway: Let's just drop the gay/straight thing and agree that we're all in love with Ruby Rose and that's perfectly understandable because have you actually seen Ruby Rose, you guys.

What Happened: Etsy took a stand against the untouchable, and banned the sale of "metaphysical services" on the site.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: The Daily Dot revealed a bizarre truth this week: Namely, that Etsy is cracking down on "metaphysical" sales, meaning products that... well, aren't really obviously tangible. The new official line is that "any metaphysical service that promises or suggests it will effect a physical change (e.g., weight loss) or other outcome (e.g., love, revenge) is not allowed, even if it delivers a tangible item."

The surreal and surprising upshot of this? Coverage accusing Etsy of an actual witch hunt. (Gawker Media ran three separate stories on different sites by itself.) It's almost as if sudden business decisions that impact customers can affect a company's reputation or something. Or is it... magic?

The Takeaway: This is just a test to prove that the supernatural actually exists, right? It's as if Etsy is daring witches and other magic practitioners to take the service down. Don't fall for it, magicians.

What Happened: If you've only watched the Star Wars movies one at a time, you're missing out.

Where It Blew Up: YouTube, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: Consider this an antidote to everything else going on in the world right now: Filmmaker and Star Wars fan Marcus Rosentrater edited all six live-action Star Wars movies together into one movie. Not in the sense of, "He put the scenes together into one longer movie telling a single story," but literally, he created a YouTube edit called Star Wars Wars that plays all six movies at the same time:

It created quite a stir online, with numerous articles recommending you watch without actually recommending watching. Well, it is a very disorienting experience, if a surprisingly beautiful one.

The Takeaway: This is one of those strange, wonderful things that serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever other than to remind you that the Internet is where people do utterly random, fascinating things that you never would have thought of yourself. Sometimes, it's good to have such unexpected oddness.