Pixar’s new film Inside Out hits theaters this weekend, and it’s a brilliantly rendered vision of the inner workings of the human mind. Director Pete Docter came up with the anthropomorphized emotions that make up the central characters based on psychologist Paul Ekman’s theory that there are seven basic emotions, whittled down to five in Docter’s film: Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Anger (Lewis Black), Disgust (Mindy Kaling), and Fear (Bill Hader).
It’s a nifty simplification that keeps the characters down to a manageable number, but humans are capable of feeling more than five emotions, right? So we took Robert Plutchik’s more extensive Wheel Of Emotions, and came up with as many potential actors as we could to fill out a large ensemble cast.
Trust: Morgan Freeman
Is there anyone we trust more as a fictional world leader, benevolent grizzled narrator, or God himself? He conveys never-wavering calm, evenhanded judgment, and rock-solid dependability. Riley’s Honesty Island would have no better champion than Morgan Freeman.
Anticipation: Jack Black
Boundless manic energy makes this an easy casting decision. Just take a look at any clip of his from High Fidelity to get an idea of how he’d be bouncing off the walls. Sure, he’s already in DreamWorks’ Kung-Fu Panda series, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dream of some kind of song-and-dance routine with Tenacious D partner Kyle Gass.
Surprise: Taylor Swift
We’re just…we mean, we didn’t see this coming. At all. It’s just…who would have thought this is the way we would cast this? It’s just such a shock. Whoever would have guessed?
Serenity: Kerry Washington
It's not like she can't get a little crazy, but when we're looking for a voice to exude calm and control, K-Dub's the one.
Acceptance: Jeff Bridges
Take your pick of the eminently laid-back personality of The Dude in The Big Lebowski or the resigned, grizzled men of Crazy Heart and The Giver—Jeff Bridges has accepted his fate, and any character he lends his voice to will also find this acceptance.
Apprehension: Michael Cera
Conversely, nobody personifies indecisive waffling quite like the guy who brought to life George Michael Bluth, Evan from Superbad, or Scott Pilgrim. He’d wring his hands over everything from what clothes to wear to what soda to get from the vending machine.
Distraction: John C. Reilly
A consummate improvisor, Reilly has proven to be a comedic jack-of-all-trades, equally at ease as a wingman to Will Ferrell (Talladega Nights, Step Brothers) or a parodic leading man (Walk Hard). So he seems like a well-deployed supporting player as the inspiration for daydreams and out-of-nowhere tangents, like a particularly brilliant bit in Inside Out involving a chewing gum jingle.
Pensiveness: John Hodgman
From his big break as the PC in Apple’s now-iconic ad campaign to his podcast role as a social judge to his standup shows where he channels the ghost of Ayn Rand (in full costume), Hodgman is a hyper-intelligent and acutely hilarious comedian---perfect for a more thoughtful emotion, with ample opportunity for comic contemplation.
Boredom: Wyatt Cenac
Laconic and composed, the former Daily Show correspondent is a still pond—but he would be even more hilarious taking that natural attitude and channeling it into something akin to Mindy Kaling’s Disgust. He’d be great on a never-ending road trip across the country when nothing but a flat, beige landscape surrounds a car for as far as the eye can see.
Annoyance: Chelsea Peretti
Parks And Recreation deftly passed the torch for best comedy ensemble to Michael Schur’s next show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and a big reason for that is Peretti, who has a scowl that can cut silliness down to size in a snap. She may be goofy, but when she wants to give someone the stink eye, there are few comics more unsettling---while still being likable.
Interest: Paul F. Tompkins
As the host of the genial web talk show Speakeasy, comedian Paul F. Tompkins finds something to talk about with every single guest he shares a beverage with, no matter how dissimilar their interests. Which is why he’s our go-to for paying enthusiastic attention to anything.
Love: Scarlett Johannson
Lost In Translation. Her. Vicky Christina Barcelona. Match Point. A whole handful of Marvel movies. Scarlett Johannson displays the vulnerability and poise to play this highly commodified and intimately vital human emotion.
Awe: Ellie Kemper
Just hearing the first inklings of the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt theme song is enough to merit this pick, but her Erin on The Office is also a seemingly impossibly resilient woman, and she’s a great innocent in the Bridesmaids ensemble. Nobody else but Kemper conveys wide-eyed astonishment as believably as she does right now.
Disapproval: Alan Rickman
From Hans Gruber to Professor Severus Snape, a droll Alan Rickman is the perfect actor to embody stern disapproval. One withering stare from him and anyone would feel ashamed.
Remorse: John Cho
Well, we just love John Cho. You should love John Cho. John Cho can do anything.
Optimism: Ron Funches
Few people embody the uplifting spirit of an oversized, huggable teddy bear quite like Ron Funches. His appearances on @Midnight are always hysterical, and though his standup can be melancholy at times, his delivery is so sunny and his cadence so unique that you can’t help but feel better about the world.
Contempt: Aubrey Plaza
She’s the perfect balance between the blasé attitude of Mindy Kaling’s Disgust and the hair-trigger of Lewis Black’s Anger. Her barely-concealed hatred for any and all things around her as April Ludgate on Parks And Recreation makes her the top pick to ever-so-slightly raise her eyebrows and wither you with a single word
Aggressiveness: Melissa McCarthy
As her gloriously violent tirades in Spy can attest, Melissa McCarthy has more than enough pent-up rage to focus onto any unwise instigators in her path. SNL was wise to let her step into one of Chris Farley’s characters in the 40th anniversary tribute, since she has that same type of ebullient energy that is both masterfully controlled and fiercely unpredictable.
Submission: Dakota Johnson
She was great in Ben And Kate, so it’s not like Johnson doesn’t have range. But after Fifty Shades Of Grey, need we say more?
