This morning, Chevy released a press release written in emoji to introduce the 2016 Cruze because, as Chevy says, "Words alone can’t describe the new 2016 Chevrolet Cruze." While it's an admittedly clever gimmick, it seems that perhaps we are not ready for the all-emoji press release.
When we talk about emoji, we frequently talk about it as a developing universal language that's pushing the boundaries of how we communicate. Glyph systems are some of the oldest forms of communication, but written language replaced them for a reason: lack of specificity breeds ambiguity.
Though the reintroduction of a glyph-based language system into modern society has no doubt changed the way we communicate, clearly we aren't ready to head back to glyphs as a primary form of communication. If anything, this press release from Chevy actually highlights emoji's limitations. Please, someone tell Chevy emoji are for augmenting, not replacing, written language.
Of course, this is a gimmick. The intention was never to communicate the message in emoji, but to use the novelty and the ambiguity in an effort to capture the public's attention for the (decoded) release tomorrow. And it might work. Credit where credit's due, Chevy certainly capitalized on the growing Emoji trend and parlayed it into what might be a successful stunt, but hopefully next time they'll avoid using the chick emoji to refer to women. (Really, Chevy?)
The press release will be decoded publicly at 2 p.m. EDT on Tuesday, but in the meantime, we took a crack at making sense of the Glyph Jumble.
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2015-06-22
People Love Cars
You drive to the city at sundown, listening to music, then stop. Your days are all the same---time passes, it's all very dramatic and filled with happiness and also sadness until you get a new car: The Chevy Cruze, which chicks love. You can sync your phone, bowl, and use a ruler, or fuel your car with sports. It's a great new loaf, full of dresses, shoes, lipsticks, friends, and you phone, which you can use to text human people. This car is for dads, who have mustaches and say things like, "I have an idea: I should get a new car to save the planet."
Rule: This car will make you better at sports and bring you love.
Signal: You can sync seven phones, which is cool, #1 it will make you smarter and you will be feeling 100. Cars love phones. You love diamonds. You have a computer. Speakers play music.
Airline seats: are full of running men, women who kick things, dancing friends, and a woman with questions.
Gas: in 2015, this car got 35 miles per bridge. In 2016, it will be more. Which is great. You have to wait until July 15th, though, and something is trending upwards.
Alert! You're thinking about many types of bags. OnStar.
Car: Will soon be flowers.
Car: Is three worlds.
Cars are for mountains, space, oceans, mountains, rainbows, cities at anytime of day, for bridges too! Cruze likes your phone and also gas, it feels like a roller coaster, which you will love and it will make you feel 100 checks.
Search 1911 destination city car tunes, stop. Chevy for three worlds. Chevy will become gas, love, and excitement.
