Is there any better way to describe this week in trailers than simply enchanted? Dare we say, even magical? Channing Tatum and company continue to gear us up for their final ride through the southern states, just as the men of Chocolate City are standing up to be counted for their own stripping adventures. Let no shirtless man be left behind! Additionally, Meryl Streep went rock and roll, Salma Hayek went animated, and the Wachowskis went to Netflix. It's art. It doesn't have to make sense.
The puns. The abs. The entendre. This. Trailer. Has. Everything—including Andie MacDowell. Did we know Andie MacDowell was in this?! Magic indeed!
Pause at: 0:27, 0:46, 1:03, 1:21, 1:28, 1:32, 1:39, 1:49, and 1:54 for chicanery.
Song: Goldfrapp, "Ohh La La"
Essential Quote: "We're like healers or something."—Donald Glover's (still unnamed) character
Just because Magic Mike XXL is coming out doesn't mean Chocolate City—another day-in-the-life-of-adult-entertainers movie—should get stepped on. These mostly naked men have worked very hard for our enjoyment, and we should reward their efforts with our patronage. Besides, this movie does one better than Mike and puts the real Ginuwine in its cast. Meaning, if we hear "Pony," we'll hear it from the man himself. There's also Vivica A. Fox, Michael Jai White, Tyson Beckford, Carmen Electra, and Robert Ri'chard. What's not to love?
Pause at: 0:48 and 1:08 for Ginuwine! Then pause basically anywhere else.
Song: Lee Richardson, "I Wanna Do (I Wanna Do)"
Essential Quote: "Welcome to Chocolate City."—Pharoah (Ginuwine)
Sometimes really famous and talented people make movies you just wouldn't expect. And maybe when you see them you're even like, "Why?" The Reese Witherspoon/Sofia Vergara movie Hot Pursuit is one of those things. And this Meryl Streep vehicle in which she stars as a mom who abandoned her family to pursue her dream of rock stardom is also probably one of those things. But as is so often the case with this category of movies, you see the trailer and start justifying to yourself why it might work out anyway! In this case, the novelty of Streep appearing on screen as the fictional mother to her real-life daughter, Mamie Gummer, is enticing enough to get us through the door. Gummer at once looks exactly like her mother, and yet nothing like her at all. How is this possible?! We'll spend this whole movie trying to crack the case. Besides, it's written by Diablo Cody and directed by Jonathan Demme. That's worth a shot.
Pause at: 0:23 for rock-and-roll Meryl! Stop at 0:27 for Bizarre Meryl, aka her daughter Mamie. By our count Audra MacDonald at 0:54 makes three national treasures in this movie. The make-under team really put in work on Mamie at 1:51. Roles for Meryl Streeps over 50 at 2:04.
Song: Dobie Gray, "Drift Away"
Essential Quote: "It really doesn't matter if your kids don't love you. It's not their job to love you. It's your job to love them."—Greg (Rick Springfield!)
Here's the next project from Lana and Andy Wachowski. Fortunately for them and us, they're taking to a series format for this new Netflix production, which means their super-sized idea isn't confined to a two-hour run time. Jupiter Ascending meant well, but it was too big for one movie, and perhaps too big for our human minds. It ended up being a huge write-down for the studio and a critical black sheep. Sense8 is about eight seemingly random people who are all connected to each other mentally and physically. They can tap into each other's systems and kind of borrow from one another as needed. Clearly, this is going to mean a lot of danger for everyone involved. The cast is a lot of new names (e.g. Tina Desai, Doona Bae, Aml Ameen) mixed with a handful of known quantities (Daryl Hannah, Naveen Andrews, and Joe Pantoliano). As with all things Wachowski, we will remain hopeful.
Pause at: 0:28 for Daryl Hannah! Creepy connections at 0:31. You bet there's bullet time at 1:04! It's the Wachowskis after all.
Essential Quote: "You have seven other selves now. You can access each other's knowledge, language, skills."—Naveen Andrews' (still unnamed) character
Do we need another Vacation? Of course not. But as long as we're going to get one, it might as well star Ed Helms and Christina Applegate, with Leslie Mann as Audrey and Chris Hemsworth as this character Stone Crandall, who could appear in every movie and it would be a good idea.
Pause at: 0:34. Did the Griswolds go to Burning Man? Seems Griswold-y at 1:02, 1:35, and 1:47. Good work at 1:58 and 2:11 for all-grown-up Audrey (Leslie Mann).
Song: Chamillionaire feat. Krazie Bone, "Ridin"
Essential Quote: "The new vacation will stand on its own. OK?"—Rusty Griswold (Ed Helms)
We are thinking of this one as Dominic Toretto and Ygritte the Wildling fight witches in Manhattan. With Michael Caine!
Pause at: 0:19. Bring 'em out bring 'em out! That's why Ygritte is here! Vin Diesel is going north of the Wall at 0:50!
Essential Quote: "You will be hunted."—Kaulder (Vin Diesel)
We don't know when Return to Sender was filmed. It seems like an interesting choice for Rosamund Pike following the all-points success of Gone Girl, which buzzed loudest with praise for her turn as Amy Dunne. But, then again, Pike never has been bound by conventional decision-making, with a career defined by interesting genre movies (The World's End, Wrath of the Titans, Surrogates) that you wouldn't expect from a very talented and classically beautiful star such as Pike. So, even if this Sender doesn't look great, we're still glad the recent Oscar nominee hasn't lost her stomach for the grittier B-movie fare. You kick ass wherever you want to, Ms. Pike. In this, she plays a rape victim struggling to put her life back together, and in doing so finds her way into a relationship with her attacker. Is it real love? Is it an Amazing Amy-style long con for revenge? We're interested in finding out.
Pause at: 0:53, 1:27, 1:43, and 2:07 to see Rosamund back in that dark Amy place!
Essential Quote: "I just don't want to cause more harm."—William Finn (Shiloh Fernandez), being way too late considering he's a rapist
There are so many Monty Python alums stacked into this movie we're at least curious to see what got them on board. Simon Pegg plays Neil Clarke, a common man who is bestowed with Bruce Almighty-style powers by a group of zany aliens. If he proves able to use the powers for good, humanity will be spared. But if he fails (and it looks like he starts out doing just that), we're all dead.
Pause at: 0:37 and 0:58 for really good special effects. Stop at 1:35 for someone Absolutely Fabulous.
Song: Olly Murs feat. Travie McCoy, "Wrapped Up"
Essential Quote: "One Earthling will be picked at random to use absolute power for good. But if he uses it for evil the Earth will be eliminated."—an extraterrestrial voiced by John Cleese
And here we have a feast for the eyes! This movie takes its name from the poetry that inspired it, and renders said poems into uniquely animated segments, all tied together with the narrative frame of an artist (voiced by Liam Neeson) and his relationship with his housekeeper (Salma Hayek) and her daughter (Quvenzhané Wallis). It looks darling, really, but even more visually arresting, with directors Paul and Gaëtan Brizzi, Joan C. Gratz, Mohammed Saeed Harib, Tomm Moore, Nina Paley, Bill Plympton, Joann Sfar, and Michal Socha all contributing their talents to bring the various vignettes to life. There's also beautiful original music from Yo-Yo Ma, Glen Hansard, and Damien Rice.
Pause at: Seriously, just keep hitting pause.
Essential Quote: "They think I'm a prisoner, but I've flown away many times."—Mustafa (Neeson)
