Whoa, there, TV! Slow down! This is a marathon not a sprint, and we don't want you running out of gas before the spring season even gets here. On the heels of last week's Ant-Man debut, Marvel is trotting out its real show pony: the second installment of its Avengers ensemble. In addition to the return of director Joss Whedon, we've got the next Melissa McCarthy headliner from director Paul Feig, and the first co-starring Tina Fey-Amy Poehler vehicle since this year's Golden Globes. Then, besides the scare tactics of Unfriended, it's all about the boob tube. Familiar faces like Rob Thomas and Will Forte are bringing us new network comedies. Bob Odenkirk proves that even television isn't immune to the reboot virus plaguing big screens as he reprises the role of Saul Goodman for AMC. And Netflix reminds us that we are all still beholden to the Underwood administration. Oh, then there's Adult Swim, which is throwing a huge middle finger at institutional racism in law enforcement. In other words, you've got a lot of space to make on your DVR!
It is a dark timeline indeed in the second trailer for Marvel's next super project. Where the first trailer opted for heavier mood and focused on the world in peril, this one hits the action button hard and draws our attention specifically to an Avengers team that is perhaps being ripped apart. In the this half of the superhero movieverse, all roads lead to the Avengers, so, come hell or high water, this movie is going to be massive. And Paul Bettany joins the cast as Vision!
Pause at: 0:33. Who is this?? Is this young Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) at 0:39? Andy Serkis (playing a yet-to-be-named character) looking tough at 0:54. A very human moment at 1:01. Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) looks like he is officially on the wrong side of the Avengers at 1:05.
Essential Quote: "Everyone creates the thing they dread."—Ultron (James Spader) to Tony Stark
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler play Jane Jones and Maura Ellis, two sisters who are about to say goodbye to their childhood home as their parents are putting it up for sale. So, Jane and Maura are doing what any respectable people would do and planning one last rager in the house. This is the first Fey/Poehler joint production since Baby Mama in 2008. Let's see how these very productive past seven years have affected their approach together.
Pause at: 0:01. Tina Fey, keeping it classy. No one high fives like these two at 0:10. Whatever is happening at 0:14 looks important.
Song: Icona Pop, "On A Roll"
Essential Quote: "Y'all ready for this jelly?!"—Jane
Melissa McCarthy is so, so funny, and Paul Feig—whom she worked with on The Heat and Bridesmaids—brings out the best in her, so let's hope Spy is a starring vehicle more worthy of her talents than either Tammy or Identity Thief. For the role in question, McCarthy plays Susan Cooper, a school teacher turned desk-jockey CIA analyst who wants more action and intrigue out of life. In addition to Feig as director, Spy also reunites McCarthy with her Bridesmaids co-star Rose Byrne, who is also a hilarious person, and the rest of the cast is pretty encouraging, too: Jason Statham, Jude Law, Allison Janney, Bobby Cannavale, and even Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. This one has all the right ingredients, so let's hope the finished product is something delicious.
Pause at: 1:14 for the possible resurrection of Kristen Stewart's Twilight Saga: Eclipse wig on Jude Law's head. Stop at 1:51, because Rose Byrne is going to milk this role for everything its worth. Pause at 2:00 for Action McCarthy!
Song: Iggy Azalea, "Bounce"
Essential Quote: "I'm the person that's gonna cut your dick off and glue it to your forehead, so you look like a limp dick unicorn. That's who the fuck I am."—CIA Agent Susan Cooper (McCarthy)
The blossoming genre of Internet Horror has a fresh entry! Obviously, neither found footage nor web-camming is new to movies, scary or otherwise, but the number of thrillers relying on "Gotcha!" digital premises is rapidly increasing. (See last week's write up on Cyberbully for exhibit A.) The preemptive response to this trailer might be to brush it off, and it's probably not going to be groundbreaking, but it at least looks brutal and shameless. And it's very fitting that Unfriended chose to debut the trailer with MTV, as the network's adult years have ditched music videos in favor of Catfish and its digital voyeurism. Even still, when that hand goes in the blender it's effectively gross.
Pause at: 1:16. Laura Barns (Heather Sossaman) = Natalie Dormer + Charisma Carpenter? Stomach churn at 2:11.
Essential Quote: "This is gonna be fun."—Laura Barns
This trailer is for the Adult Swim special presentation The Wizard of Watts, an original movie musical edition of Black Dynamite, which is at once a parody and homage to Blaxploitation cinema. The Wizard of Watts focuses on police brutality and, well, there's a whole hell of a lot going on here, so just watch.
Pause at: 0:08 for Tyler, The Creator and 0:25 for Erykah Badu. If you're wondering what all that green pixilation is at 1:10, it's a giant penis from a lizard voiced by JB Smoove. Don't make it weird.
Essential Quote: "You done fucked up now!"—Black Dynamite screaming at a massive hog police officer
It feels like we've been waiting on Better Call Saul for lifetimes at this point. All the little teasers and 10-second clips and blog posts and speculation on whether or not Walt and Jesse will show up pre-dates even Breaking Bad itself—at least emotionally it does. But at long last we can count time to premiere in days, not months (or years?), at which time we'll be able to sink our teeth into the origins of Saul Goodman, aka James "Jimmy" McGill, New Mexico's top criminal, lawyer.
Pause at: 0:31—Michael McKeon! 0:45—Mike Erhmantraut (Jonathan Banks)! We are unsurprised by Saul's dubious beginnings at 1:40.
Essential Quote: "Money is not beside the point. Money is the point!"—Jimmy McGill/Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk)
The CW has long been associated with playing hard by the numbers. Every show feels, at most, three degrees off the same formula, and WIRED even did a write up on their "mandroid" formula for casting carbon copy babes across programs. But with the popularity and acclaim of shows like The Flash, Arrow, and, as the Golden Globes proved, Jane the Virgin, it's perhaps a new era of credibility at the former UPN! iZombie has us encouraged by the involvement of Rob Thomas, who's producing, writing, and directing for the new series. You could call it an undead Veronica Mars, but is that a bad thing?
Pause at: 0:15. Zombie mortician—LOL.
Song: Blindside, "Alibi"
Essential Quote: "When I eat a brain I get visions, flashes of dreams or memories."—Olivia Moore (Rose McIver), who really is the undead Veronica Mars
At least one other character will have to enter this show to sustain it for a series run, but, then again, if it's just Will Forte being pushed constantly to further and further boundaries of comedy to maintain audience interest that could also be a really compelling experiment.
Pause at: 0:17, because when you're the last man earth, you can decorate however you damn please. And you can also blow up cars as a leisure activity, like at 0:24.
Song: Gioacchino Rossini, "La Gazza Ladra Overture"
Essential Quote: "Waahooooooooo!!!"—Phil Miller (Forte)
Synchronize your watches for 12:00 a.m. on Feb. 27. Then call in sick. If Season 3 of Cards can live up to this trailer it's going to be the most salacious and intense one yet. Minimum five deaths by train car or we're quitting the series full stop!
Pause At: 0:05. He's baaaaaaaack! Claire (Robin Wright) in front of a Grand Jury at 0:16? Well that's not Frank Underwood at 0:21. Is that crying Frank at 0:32?!
Song: A Perfect Circle, "Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums"
Essential Quote: "We're murderers, Francis."—Claire Underwood
