The gap between Christmas and New Year's is a weird time for pop culture. Even if you don't celebrate His Birth, or the modern reinterpretation of it (see: presents!), everyone is just kind of hanging out, not intentionally breaking any news. But in spite of America collectively wearing its fat pants, a few new trailers managed to break through the hibernation haze and tickle our fancies. Here is a mini lineup to get you excited for upcoming movies and TV in the new year. Welcome to 2015, everyone!
Marvel clearly has a sense of humor, but they're also total jerks. Here is a microscopic tiny little teaser for tomorrow's launch of the actual Ant-Man trailer, but good luck seeing much in it. Nice one, guys. Bet you're super impressed with yourselves right now. Tune in to the premiere of Marvel's Agent Carter this week to watch the "human-sized" spot roll out.
Pause at: ???
Pop quiz: What do you get when you cross the character of John McClane (yes, the movie detective) and Joe Lynch, the director of Knights of Badassdom? Apparently, you get Everly! It stars Salma Hayek as a call-girl turned police informant trying to survive the night in an apartment that has contract killers pouring through every entry point. (She ratted on her ex-boss and now he's super pissed about it.) Early viewings of Everyly at events like Fantastic Fest have drawn comparisons to Die Hard thanks to its blend of million-guns action, dry and dark humor, and a protagonist that veers into the antihero spectrum. Honestly, we're sold. Hayak does weird black comedy so, so well (The Faculty, From Dusk Till Dawn, Once Upon a Time In Mexico, Dogma), and she's been stealing scenes in burly action movies for some time now, so why not just give her a whole damn movie to kick some ass? Everyly premieres on VOD at the end of January, but wouldn't you rather watch this chaos unfold when it hits big screens in February? We certainly would.
Pause at: 1:19 for a fan of blood spray shooting out of an elevator door that a bunch of guys just got blown up in. (It's that kind of movie.) Naturally, someone brought sais at 1:25. You had us at "RPG explodes around Salma Hayak taking shelter behind a mini bar" at 1:46.
Essential Quote: "Dad wanted a boy."—Everly (Hayek), on her advanced weaponry skills
So this is a Jackie Chan movie inspired by a true story about a legion of Roman soldiers that, according to legend, marched itself all the way to China. Adrian Brody plays Tiberius, a Roman general trying to seize control of the Silk Road trade route. John Cusack plays Lucius, another Roman general who's maybe trying to stop him (?) and Jackie Chan plays a Chinese officer who aligns himself with Lucius. But here's where it gets hinky: This movie doesn't seem to be kidding. We kept waiting for a some zany Hot Tub Time Machine type of reveal wherein Cusack and Brody end up in the middle of the Han Dynasty, but it just kept being serious. It's not that these actors don't make genuine, affecting movies. The do—or rather, they can. It's just really weirding us out that they made one together. And that John Cusack played an ancient Roman.
Pause at: 0:10, 0:22, 0:37, 1:37—it's all just very strange.
Essential Quote: "Of course he's committed a crime! His crime is that he took the place in your hearts that belonged to me."—Tiberius (Brody) screaming at Lucius (Cusack)
This little tease doesn't give much at all, but like the title says: Thunderbirds are go! The 50th anniversary of the original Thunderbirds TV show is at hand, and what better way to commemorate the program than with a brand new series? While the 1960s version used Team America-style puppetry (actually called supermarionation) to bring the adventures of the Tracy family to life, the re-up will obviously be using CGI, with effects provided by Weta. If you're a fan of the original, here's who you can look forward to hearing behind the animated faces in the new Thunderbirds: Rasmus Hardiker as Scott and Alan Tracy, David Menkin as Virgil Tracy, Thomas Brodie-Sangster as Gordon and John Tracy, Kayvan Novak as Brains, Rosamund Pike (score!) as Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward, David Graham as Aloysius Parker, Sandra Dickinson as Grandma Tracy, Andres Williams as The Hood, Angel Coulby as Kayo, and Adjoa Andoh as Colonel Casey.
Pause at: 0:11. Could this be the hub of the International Rescue team?
Essential Quote: "International Rescue! Are you reading us?"—Radio distress call
