This morning, the US Patent and Trademark Office canceled six trademarks on the Washington Redskins' team name. This effectively pulls the rug out from under team owner Daniel Snyder, who had been standing firm against accusations that the nickname is wildly offensive to Native Americans. But, this is an opportunity to find a great new team nickname. Besides, since the D.C. metro area is built on what was once a swamp (or more accurately a tidal plain) full of snakes, spiders, and rodents, the only people they run the risk of offending are the politicians.
The region isn't really known for vicious animals, at least outside the Beltway. There's one poisonous snake, the northern copperhead. The black rat snake could be a contender too. It grows up to 8 feet long and squeezes its prey to death. In terms of carnivorous mammals, black bears have been reintroduced to western Maryland after being driven out of most areas of the state, but of course Chicago has already claimed Da Bears. The handsome red fox might do, but mostly the area has a lot of adorable rodents, like the eastern chipmunk, eastern cottontail rabbit, and short-tailed shrew, all of which seem like perfect prey for NFC East rivals, the Philadelphia Eagles. So, scratch that.
One of the region's most popular (and delicious) animals is the Chesapeake blue crab. And there are many, many birds.
Or they could be the first NFL team to name themselves after an arachnid. Seriously, think about how awesome the mascot's costume would look if it they named themselves after the six-spotted fishing spider, the acrobatic bold jumper, or the goldenrod crab spider (whose genus name, Misumena, translates from the Greek as "object of hate")?
So, what do you think? Is there a species here you'd like to root for? Are there others worthy of consideration? Have at it in the comments.
