One of the great strengths of Game of Thrones is that it isn't afraid to change. Not only has it killed off some of its most popular characters, but over the last three seasons we've seen many—perhaps even most—of the cast evolve tremendously. And not just heroes like Daenerys, who started as a powerless victim and became a fearsome commander, but also several unpleasant villains who developed enough layers and dimensions that they suddenly didn't seem quite as bad as they did before.
But let's keep it in perspective. Sure, Jaime saved Brienne—but he's also the man who pushed Bran out a window. Yes, the Hound saved Arya repeatedly (and even gave her a horse!), but he's also the guy who murdered her friend Mycah in cold blood. And yes, Littlefinger tried to save Sansa, but he's also the man who betrayed Ned and put a knife to his neck. It's easy to develop a selective memory, to remember the first part and not the second part, because one of those stories is a lot more pleasant than the other.
Like Sansa and Arya, we slowly want to turn this back into the good story, the one about noble knights or at least the rogues with hearts of gold who did the right thing in the end. This week's episode is here to remind both of those girls, and us, of the truth: this is not a pleasant story.
Sansa
While Cersei and Tywin are still screaming their heads off about poor, purple-faced Joffrey, Sansa and Dontos escape to find a hidden rowboat and row off into what seems like some really abrupt mist. When they arrive at a ship in the harbor, she finds a familiar face on deck: Littlefinger. Turns out Dontos was just Littlefinger's puppet all along, but Littlefinger doesn't trust drunk puppets, probably because he has seen Avenue Q, so Dontos has to die. When Dontos asks for payment he gets a crossbow bolt in the face instead, shocking Sansa, though Littlefinger insists it's the only way to keep her safe. He takes off her pretty blue necklace—which is now missing one of its crystals—and reveals that rather than a Dontos family heirloom, it was actually a piece of jewelry he commissioned personally several weeks earlier. He crushes one of the crystals before brushing it into the sea, and tells Sansa that she's safe with him now, and they're sailing home. But where's home?
In the books: Rather than showing up unannounced, Ser Dontos told Sansa to be ready for an escape, though she did not know Joffrey would be poisoned. He'd also told her she had to wear her hair net to the wedding—which became a necklace on the show—claiming it was "magic" and would take her home. After his men kill Dontos, Littlefinger does not discuss the hairnet/necklace, though he does admit he came up with the idea of insulting Tyrion with the jousting dwarves, whom he brought in from Braavos.
The Ladies Tyrell
The twice-widowed Margaery is bummed out, not only because her terrible husband is dead, but because it still isn't clear whether or not she's queen now. Olenna tells the story of her own husband's death, which she seems pretty unsentimental about, given that she refers to him as a "great doughy lump." She tells Margaery that she shouldn't be too upset; her circumstances have actually improved quite a bit now that her sociopathic groom has stopped breathing. Although she handled him remarkably well, "the next one will be easier."
In the books: This scene never occurs as Margaery and Olenna are not point of view characters, though Tywin tells Jaime later that the Tyrells are insisting that Margaery be wed to Tommen. Tywin suggests that she could be wed to Jaime instead, though this idea is not well-received.
The Lannisters
Tyrion, the perpetual whipping boy of the Lannister family, is in jail, and Pod informs him that he's going to stand trial for Joffrey's murder in a fortnight. Tyrion says he wants to call Sansa as a witness, only to learn that she's escaped, leaving him well and truly alone. Pod says "they" offered him a knighthood to testify against Tyrion but he refused, which sets off alarm bells for Tyrion: "If they can't tempt you with honey, they'll choose something less sweet." Although they won't let Bronn in to see him, he tells Pod to send for Jaime, and then get out of town before the knives catch up with him.
Meanwhile, Tywin enters the sept where Joffrey's body is laid out to have a little chat with Tommen, aka the heir to the throne. "What is a good king's most important quality?" he asks the young prince. Oh man, this feels like a job interview. Ooh, for the next question, ask him why manhole covers are round! First Tommen says holiness is the most important quality, then justice, then strength. Each time, Tywin uses a historical example to explain how each can become impractical: how pious Baelor starved himself into an early grave; how being just matters little if you can't hold on to power (he doesn't use Ned and Robb as examples, but he totally could have); and how Tommen's own "father" Robert was a strong warrior, but a poor ruler. What did they all lack? Wisdom, Tommen finally concludes, and Tywin says that good kings listen to their councillors—especially, I imagine, when they are named Tywin. They start chatting a bit about his need to marry, and just as he's getting to the details of the birds and the bees, Jaime shows up.
Cersei's still sitting with Joffrey's body, seemingly the only person who's actually sad about his death. After Jaime shoos everyone out, she insists that Tyrion had him killed and demands that Jaime take vengeance. It wouldn't be the first person he's tried to kill for Cersei, but he's not enthused about the idea of killing his own brother. They kiss, seemingly for the first time since his return, but she pulls away in disgust when his maimed hand touches her. It's a pretty spiteful move; Jaime calls her a hateful woman and tries to kiss her again, but she is not having it. So he straight up rapes her on the ground next to the corpse of their son. Wow. Wow.
In the books: Rather than immediately deeming her innocent, Tyrion is convinced at first that Sansa must be the killer. We get no sense that Pod's life is in danger as Tyrion prepares for the trial, and Bronn is allowed to visit, though Tyrion finds he cannot pay enough to match his sister's price for the sellsword's allegiance. Although we're told Tommen has a far better temperament than Joffrey, there's no scene like this between him and Tywin. Their discussion of kings past does echo parts of a earlier conversation between Tyrion, Oberyn and Sansa as they discuss Lives of Four Kings, the rare history book that Joffrey chopped to pieces.
Jaime is still making his way back to King's Landing with Brienne when Joffrey dies, though he learns of the murder en route and rushes back to comfort Cersei. Although she initially resists the sex as improper given the location, she quickly becomes an enthusiastic and willing participant. Rape versus not rape: a crucial difference. Honestly, given how many rapes are already in the novels, it's a bit hard to believe that anyone would read them and say, "hey, you know what this story needs? More rape!" Reframing Jaime as a rapist also casts quite a shadow on his redemptive arc, and just when the needle had started to lean from "attempted child murderer" to "generally decent human."
Arya
Arya and the Hound head to the Eyrie through the Riverlands, aka Arya's personal purgatory. Seriously, she's been wandering the Riverlands for what seems like years now, always on her way to somewhere and never quite getting there like some sort of Sisyphean punishment. As they water the horses, a kindly farmer with a young daughter asks what they're doing on his land. While the Hound is predictably grouchy, with the help of Arya's highborn manners (and a careful lie about fighting for House Tully) they've soon got a hot meal in front of them and a place to sleep for the night. Noticing that the Hound seems to know his way around a sword, the farmer asks if he'll stay a while to ward off the bandits, unwisely revealing that he has some silver hidden away. Instead, the next morning he simply beats the man and takes the silver, leading an outraged Arya to call him "the worst shit in the Seven Kingdom." Her outrage speaks to how their Lone Wolf and Cub adventure has slowly obscured the truth: that she's kicking it with Joffrey's former killer-for-hire, a man who once killed one of her best friends in cold blood.
The Hound says the theft is simply common sense, as the man is weak and will be dead by winter, at which point silver will be of no use to him. After seeing both Joffrey and Ramsay in action, it's pretty easy to agree with his next point: "There's plenty worse than me. I just understand the way things are. How many Starks they gotta behead before you figure out it?" Admittedly, the Starks can be slow learners when it comes to the practical art of survival, but if both Sansa and Arya can keep their heads down, they might finally acquire some of that wisdom Tywin was talking about.
In the books: Arya and the Hound never stay with a kindly farmer, although earlier in the book while they're traveling to the Twins before the Red Wedding, the Hound does rob a farmer of his clothes, cart and cargo so he and Arya can travel incognito.
The Night's Watch
Now that Gilly's back at Castle Black, where the male/female ratio is around 1:100, Sam's is a bit nervous about her safety. Which is probably fair, considering how many men get sent to the Wall for actually being rapists. Sam wants her to stay in Mole's Town instead, a town a bit south of Castle Black; he finds her a place to live and work there but it is super creepy, especially when the first thing the proprietor does is offer to prostitute Gilly and give Sam a cut. He insists that she get no "extra work" but leaves her there anyway to her obvious dismay, saying that it's still better than Castle Black which seems like a pretty arguable point.
Meanwhile, the Wildlings are coming. If you've never quite understood why they call them that, watching Ygritte and company brutally murder a bunch of helpless townspeople is a helpful way to get up to speed. Styr, the cannibalistic Thenn leader, grabs a boy and tells him that he's going to eat his dead parents, then sends him crying to Castle Black. All the crows naturally want to ride out and defend the townsfolk, but for once Jon and Alliser Thorne agree: this is a trap to spread them thin, and the smartest thing they can do is stay and defend the Wall. Suddenly the survivors of Craster's Keep stumble in with news of the mutiny, and since the mutineers are still running around north of the Wall, that presents an even more serious problem than the wildling raids. If Mance Rayder catches them he'll learn the truth: There aren't a thousand men at Castle Black but closer to a hundred, a weak spot the Wildling armies can easily overrun. "We need to ride north and kill them all," says Jon about their turncloak former brothers.
In the books: There were numerous Wilding incursions designed to draw out the Night's Watch, though they happened at castles along the wall rather than villages. By the time Jon returns to Castle Black—which happens after the return of the mutiny survivors— its garrison had already deployed to fight them, playing right into Mance's plan to spread them thin. Sam, meanwhile, still hadn't made his way back to Castle Black, and was still north of the Wall with Gilly. Not only did he never try to relocate Gilly, but Mole's Town is the first place Jon evacuates upon his return, since it would be completely vulnerable to Wildling forces approaching from the south.
The Red Viper
It's bisexual orgy time! Although Loras is not involved as last week's episode seemed to promise, his one-time lover (and Littlefinger operative) Olyver totally is. Olvyer is confused about Oberyn's bisexuality, but it's pretty straightforward to the Red Viper, who simply thinks everyone else is "missing half the world's pleasure." He offers some sage advice about making sure you have a ton of hot sex before you get old and gross, but then Lord Tywin rolls in and ruins the party by shooing all the naked people out. Gven the manner of Joffrey's death, Tywin has a few questions, particularly since Oberyn is a widely known as a student of poisons. Oberyn denies any involvement in Joffrey's death, and Tywin denies any involvement in the death of Oberyn's sister. It seems like they're at a stalemate until Tywin does something unexpected: offers to make Oberyn a judge at Tyrion's trial. With so many other volatile forces in play throughout Westeros, Tywin wants to bring Dorne back into the fold by making Oberyn a member of Tommen's small council and giving him a chance to "speak" with the Mountain, the man who killed his sister. "You help me serve justice to the king's assassins," he says, "and I will help you serve justice to Elia's."
In the books: Although the Red Viper does become one of the judges, we never see this interaction between Tywin and Oberyn. When Jaime returns after the Purple Wedding, however, he learns that Tywin, Oberyn and Mace Tyrell are all in a private (non-brothel) meeting, and Tyrion is subsequently informed that they will be his judges.
Stannis
The news of Joffrey's death reaches Stannis, who is totally convinced it was Melisandre's blood magic, because she named a leech after Joffrey and burned it last season. Aw c'mon, correlation is not causation, Stannis! Stannis is not interested in a deeper analysis of causal variables, however, because he's too busy being pissed that Davos freed Gendry (aka the bastard son of Robert that he wanted to use as a giant sacrificial leech). Without the human sacrifice of someone with king's blood, Stannis may not be able to claim the Iron Throne. Davos has had minimal luck raising a bigger army, so suggests that they hire eastern mercenaries from the Golden Company. Since they don't have enough gold, so Davos slinks off to his reading lesson with Princess Shireen where he ends up telling her about his rollicking adventures with near-beheading in Braavos by Iron Bank. Suddenly, he gets an idea. Remember how both Tyrion and Olenna have mentioned the massive debts that the Iron Thrones owes to the Iron Bank? Since those are the only times we've ever heard about the Bank before, I'm guessing it's related. Davos tells Shireen to write a letter to the Iron Bank for him, from "Stannis Baratheon, the one true king of Westeros."
In the books: Rather than Shireen herself, her tutor Maester Pylos teaches Davos to read. Stannis doesn't learn that Gendry—a different bastard named Edric Storm in the books—has been smuggled out of Dragonstone till after Joffrey's death, when Melisandre wants to use the boy's blood to awaken a "stone dragon" that she claims will assure Stannis's victory. Melisandre also sees Joffrey's death in the flames before any letter arrives, though Davos subsequently confirms it. And while there is contact between the Iron Bank of Braavos and the forces of Stannis, we don't hear about it until later, in the fifth book A Dance with Dragons.
Daenerys
Daenerys and her army finally arrive at looming pyramids of the slave city Meereen. The masters of the city send out their champion, who is wearing what I can only imagine is an invisible backwards hat and the medieval version of Axe body spray. He promptly announces that the Unsullied are not really men and Daenerys is not really a woman—and caps this off by pissing on the ground in their general direction. To which Dany sighs, because she's a queen with an army behind her, and yet somehow she's still dealing with the pissing contests of little boys. Still, half the city is listening, so Dany decides to choose her own champion to go shut his face.
Although Grey Worm, Barristan Selmy and Jorah all volunteer, Dany rightly says they're too important to risk. You know who isn't? Daario, who says some dangerous, sexy nonsense about death and being dust in the wind or whatever and swears he will kill this guy, kill him so hard for her. Dany tries to play like she is not into this, but she totally is. Daario says he doesn't even need a horse, and when the champion charges at him with a lance, he kisses the naked lady sculpture on the hilt of his blade (really) and then throws it through the eye of his opponent's mount, bringing them both down. In seconds, the champion's head is separated from his shoulders, and Daario is pissing right back in the direction of Meereen, just in case anyone wasn't aware that that he's a manly, masculine man. With a penis.
Dany gives yet another rousing speech in Valyrian, telling the slaves of Meereen that she is not their enemy, but rather the liberator of Astapor and Yunkai come to give their enemies (read: masters) what they deserve. Her catapults launch projectiles at the city (hopefully not killing any slaves?), which turn out to be chests full of the discarded collars that presumably once belonged slaves she's freed so far. A slave picks one up and then turns to give a nearby master some serious side-eye, and it seems like revolution might be in the air.
In the books: The champion of Meereen, Oznak zo Pahl, is fought not by Daario but by Strong Belwas, a eunuch and former slave gladiator of the Meereen fighting pits. Belwas offered the crowd a bit more of a show than Daario, allowing the champion three charges before he killed him and then celebrated the victory by defecating in front of the Meereenese crowd and wiping himself with the champion's cloak. It was a pretty classy time.
