In recent days we've witnessed television without pity. Neil deGrasse Tyson went on The Colbert Report to dismiss those who would call the revival of Carl Sagan's landmark series Cosmos a waste of time. Chelsea Handler put Piers Morgan on blast for his poor showing as successor to Larry King in CNN's live talk hour. The Portlandia team skewered social media addicts (full disclosure: guilty!) by filing for technological Chapter 11, and in a better-late-than-never unreleased True Detective scene we saw how Laurie kicked poor complicated Rust to the curb. Fortunately, Jimmy Fallon and Audra McDonald were there last week to provide a soothing balm of musical bliss to counteract the effects of supreme realness being dished up hot.
We've got all that and more right here. It's not TV. It's the WIRED TV recap.
Saturday Night Live — Weekend Update: Matthew McConaughey
Something special happens across the arc of this sketch. It starts off and you’re all "This is funny enough, even if I'm not laughing out loud." Then turns into "Wow. Taran Killam really hit the tape room and studied up on his McConaugheyese for this!" And by the time you’re on your fifth consecutive viewing the lines between performer and parody subject have completely blurred. Killam rattles off nonsense noises, jittery gesticulations, and perfectly drawn out alllriiights so effectively it's like someone has been giving Killam private lessons since Oscar night. Even the tension he holds in his mouth is perfect! We can almost taste the raw meats he's been hunting down for the wife and kidssss.
Top Gear — Freerunner Jumps Lamborghini in Slow Mo
CGI-fueled movies have conditioned audiences to suspend almost all disbelief. High-quality VFX are so commonplace that we forget how amazing real humans performing real feats of physical wonder can be. Thankfully, freerunners like Paul "Blue" Joseph are around to remind us. Watching him clear the three go-karts zipping towards him like moving hurdles is impressive on its own, but those are just an appetizer for the Lamborghini Murciélago entrée towards the end of this clip. The slow motion means holding your breath for about 90 seconds. Trust us.
Jimmy Kimmel Live! — Lie Witness News: The SXSW Edition
Remember last spring when the Lie Witness team cut through Coachella's crap like a burning hot knife? Well music elitists are back on notice, because Jimmy Kimmel's most dangerous correspondent is on the festival scene once again to skewer your annoying friend who just can't believe you haven't heard of their faaaaaavorite band. But, really, if you haven’t listened to the new EP from Neil Patrick Harassment then what are you even DOING with your life?
Community — Pile of Bullets
One of the great joys in all of television is when Alison Brie and Danny Pudi link up in the comedy rift and work in such a rapid-fire synchronicity you'd swear they're sharing a single consciousness. When that mind-meld happens in the heat of battle while playing an Old West themed interactive VCR game from the 1990s called Pile of Bullets that is narrated by Vince Gilligan, we want to write 1,000 fan thank you letters to NBC for keeping Community on air. Also, Brie Larson bonus – yeeeeeeeehaw!
Piers Morgan Live — Chelsea Handler
Piers Morgan ends his reign of mediocrity as CNN's lackluster Larry King replacement on March 28th, which really couldn't come soon enough even if March 28th was yesterday. But thanks to Chelsea Handler, who sat down with Morgan last week, we've been given a perfect parting memory of the insufferable host. To his credit, Morgan didn't start crying or try to slap Handler after she spoke for America's conscience and called him a "terrible interviewer" on his own show, but that's really all the praise we've got. He glibly tries to dig his way out of the hole Handler throws him in, but after just two minutes E!'s reigning Queen has the coffin door shut and the nails firmly in place. RIP, Piers Morgan Live!
The Colbert Report — Neil deGrasse Tyson
It's been 34 years since Carl Sagan's Cosmos: A Personal Voyage brought the wonders of the universe to American living rooms, and now, 34 years later, astrophysi-rockstar Neil deGrasse Tyson (with a little help from executive producer Seth MacFarlane) is putting us back on the bridge of the great Ship of the Imagination. Tyson went on The Colbert Report to discuss the need for revisiting Cosmos, and when he goes on a tear describing dark energy as "the mysterious pressure in the vacuum of space pushing against the wishes of the collective gravity of all the galaxies, making the expanding universe accelerate" without even taking a breath, we get multiverse-sized tingles all over!
Broad City — Morgan's Unraveling
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This sketch would be worth watching just for the density of material on screen, but it's also pretty damn funny. Five people are in a truck with two in the cab and three in the back. Abbi is bungee'd to a wall and Illana is dancing alone the entire time. Their friend Morgan is being pitched back and forth across the cargo space while losing her grip on sanity. And none of that touches on the poppers or the "Coke can,7500 plantain"-sized penis under discussion. We're so glad the women of Broad City landed on the Comedy Central stage.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Yahoo! Answers With Audra McDonald
You know how people say that James Earle Jones could read the phone book and make it sound revelatory? It turns out the pipes of five-time Tony Award winner Audra McDonald are in the same class of legend as the dark father himself, since she should win at least a Grammy for her renditions of these ridiculous Yahoo! Answers on Jimmy Fallon. If Fallon and McDonald take this show on the road we'll start camping out for tickets, like, now.
Portalandia — Social Bankruptcy
This one goes in the sad-laugh category, not because it's heartbreaking or anything, but because the thoroughly #firstworldproblem of needing to declare social bankruptcy hits way too close to home. There's an app for this, right?
