The responsibilities of being president are many, but few are as incongruous with the gravity of the job as the yearly blessing of a wide-breasted white turkey, scoring them a pass from the chopping block. Normally seen in pictures posing with the most influential individuals in the world, come November our nation's esteemed leader is patting the knobby, bobbing head of a confused bird.
The tradition's origins are, like most things, shrouded in a vast government conspiracy to hide the truth. Some rumors claim the tradition started as far back as Lincoln, when his son Tad implored him to write out a presidential pardon for the Christmas turkey. In 1873, during Grant’s presidency, a Rhode Island man named Horace Vose began the tradition of presenting the president with a stand-out turkey for his Thanksgiving feast, though these usually still ended up on the dinner table.
In 1947 the National Turkey Federation took over the annual presentation under Truman, and in 1963, with the words “We’ll just let this one grow,” President Kennedy spared the life of a bird presented to him with a sign around its neck reading "Good Eating, Mr. President!" It was pure photo-op gold and each future president has since clamored to pose with the funny looking fowl.
The yearly ritual of pardoning turkeys didn’t “officially” begin until 1989 under George H.W. Bush's first Thanksgiving as President. Each year since, a single lucky bird has been forgiven by the leader of the free world for the sin of being born hideous and delicious. The crowd-pleasing event has even trickled down to state Governor ceremonies, which make for some of the most entertaining photos in the gallery above.
If you enjoy living under the naive fantasy that these lucky birds live long and healthy lives under the auspices of the pardon, stop reading now. While the average domesticated turkey can expect to live about 10 years, these ceremonial birds have a post-pardon life expectancy of only one to two. That's because they’re raised from birth to look nice while not getting freaked out by crowds and bright lights, which does not necessarily make for the healthiest specimens.
An alternate is usually chosen in case the first bird doesn’t live long enough to serve its holiday-harking duties. In 2012, the honor was granted to Gobbler and Cobbler, who were also the only recipients of President Obama’s constitutionally granted pardoning power that year. Even Obama's pardoning powers couldn't spare them from an early demise, though, as both only survived about a year after the ceremony. In fact, each of the birds he's pardoned so far have already died. This year's turkeys, brothers Caramel and Popcorn (another pair of candidates were named Drum and Stick – aren't we supposed to not want to eat them?!) are likely bound to a similar fate.
And after the pardon? Their lives will most likely be short, but sweet ... if you assume that turkeys enjoy things like prairie houses and John Mayer. Until 2004, the turkeys were sent to a petting zoo at the fiendishly-yet-perfectly named Frying Pan Park in Virginia. For 2005 and 2009, the pardoned poultry were given gigs as honorary grand marshals for the Thanksgiving Day parade at Disneyland or Disney World. From 2010 to last year they were sent to George Washington's Mount Vernon Estate for the Christmas at Mount Vernon exhibition. This time, Caramel and Popcorn will wrap up their stay at the Willard Hotel in D.C. before meeting the press on T-Day, to be followed by a stay at Mount Vernon until early January, when they are migrated to nearby Morven Park.
Later today, when the country's most privileged turkey is trotted out to the Rose Garden, enduring the chaos of attention and ceremony it can't possibly understand before being yanked offstage by a White House intern, take a moment to appreciate that like a dysfunctional family, this country's quirks are what make it ours.
