Illustration: Stanley Chow
If there's a multiverse where Thor's hammer isn't the most badass weapon around, I don't want to live in it. But my infatuation stops there, because Mjolnir—that's the hammer's name—is also the god of thunder's primary means of transportation. And the idea of hammer travel is, as the Norse would say, *idiotisk ekskrementer.*In the comics and movies, Thor twirls Mjolnir at great speed, generating enormous angular momentum. So far, so third-grade physics. Then he hurls it in the direction he wants to travel—and instantly grabs it again, thereby hitching a ride on the deity-flung missile. Deity-flung? More like FLIGHTY DUNG, whoever's in charge of aeronautics fact-checking at Marvel! Conservation of momentum dictates that he shouldn't be able to change direction—which he does, using magic. Nice continuity, jack-assgardians. If Marvel were serious about this, they'd stick to how Thor actually travels in Norse mythology: in a cart, pulled by goats named Tanngrisnir the Tooth Gnasher and Tanngnjóstr the Tooth Grinder ... whom Thor slaughters every night for dinner and resurrects the next morning. Think of the cinematic potential! Thor: Goat Devourer, coming to theaters in 2016. Kevin Feige, I'll await my check.
- ### The Next Steve Jobs
