Friends, barmaids, tavern keepers: lend me your ears!
I want a bar with a big screen TV where I can watch Downton Abbey live, among my costume-drama compatriots.
I want a signature Downton drink. For fans of forthright Martha Levinson, perhaps the gin-laden Hanky-Panky or the ever-insouciant Aviation Fizz would do. Those that hang on the every aside of the Dowager Countess might instead prefer a Princess Mary or a Brandy Alexander...
I want dress-up contests: best fascinator, loveliest bugle beads, jolliest hairstyle!
I want trivia contests about manners, dinner courses, and equestrianship.
I want "Dowager Thursday" re-runs where the show is played again and anyone dressing as the Dowager Countess gets half-off her drinks, the bon mots flowing as effervescently as the champagne.
I want a bookie on hand providing odds and taking bets on whether or not Bates killed Vera, whether Lord Grantham will sink to financial ruin and lose Downton, whether Mary will grow bored with Matthew's wholesome virtue and engineer a mad, Pamuk-style romp with Sir Richard.
In short, I want to share my love of Downton with others, not simply watch alone at home. 7.9 million television sets tuned into PBS last Sunday – this is a cultural zeitgeist just waiting to be harnessed by the right pub owner!
Oh, and one last request: Would it be too much to ask, if I called ahead, if the bar staff could wait outside in a line while I pull up in my car? (Nothing succeeds like excess, after all!)
