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"You are being hunted." That's the opener to The Vampire Combat Manual, the latest combat-based undead survival guide from Roger Ma, author of The Zombie Combat Manual reviewed a few years back. Ma's guide follows the same general format as his previous book, combining reference material, firsthand accounts, hand-to-hand and weaponized combat techniques, offensive planning and (of particular interest to parents) a chapter on protecting your children from vampire attack. All written in an engaging style, accompanied by Kurt Miller's black and white illustrations and interwoven with the narrative of an interviewer who is crisscrossing the country, investigating the vampire phenomenon.
The Vampire Combat Manual opens with a series of common vampire misconceptions — for example, that vampires can fly — and systematically debunks them. This is followed by a detailed lesson on vampire anatomy including vulnerabilities, training exercises for the human who wishes to survive a vampire attack, a primer on weapons, extensive combat techniques (with suitably gory illustrations), followed by strategies for eradication, securing your home and even the possibility of peaceful co-existence (spoiler: Yeah, that's not likely to happen so you'd better bone up on your wooden stake technique). Interspersed throughout the sections are first-hand accounts from individuals who have survived vampire attacks, along with chilling interviews with several who did not, were turned and are now speaking for the other team.
As with The Zombie Combat Manual, each weapon is accompanied with detailed instructions on use, along with an effectiveness matrix that will be familiar to those of you who partake in gaming. For example, the Stake has a range of under one foot, its availability is common and the skill level required is extremely high. So... unless you've been trained in the most effective stake techniques, you may be better off with a shotgun. A challenge for the mechanically minded among you: How to weaponize a UV emitter (which causes a vampire to suffer third degree burns almost immediately and to spontaneously combust after 10-20 seconds of exposure) in such a manner that it has sufficient range to hit the vampire target from a safe distance, is resistant to being damaged in the immediate violent counterattack and doesn't also end up also burning all the humans in the area. If you can figure that one out, I'm sure the Institute for Undead Combat Studies would like to hear from you.
You have a few more days until the final installment in the Twilight series (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn- Part 2) hits theaters and this is the perfect opportunity to do your vampire research ahead of time so you can attend a screening, loudly call B.S. whenever you see it and end up with a crowd of tweens ready to turn on you with their popcorn and Twizzlers. Too bad a Werewolf combat manual wasn't available in time for this event (I'm sure Roger has plans for one), or you'd really be ready for some serious debunking.
The paperback version of The Vampire Combat Manual lists for $15.00, although it's currently available on Amazon for $10.20. For additional information, or to shop for merch such as tee-shirts bearing the ultra-cool Vampire Combat Club logo, visit the club's website.
