My three year old recently decided that mealtimes are an unnecessary interruption to his life. He will happily chow down on a handful of Cheerios as he’s bouncing off the walls, but sit him down for a meal and we have a battle ahead of us. Occasionally he will eat a dinosaur tree (broccoli), but at the moment he will even refuse a big plate of spaghetti!
Whilst he has decided that his intake is no longer an important part of his life, his output has not decreased. He has just as much energy, just as much get up and go, as he did when he was eating seconds and thirds at every meal. I have determined that my son derives his energy not from food but from some alternative source and have narrowed it down as follows:
- My son has Kryptonian blood in his veins and derives his strength from the yellow Sun.
- The plastic Spiderman ring that was given to him by a nice lady at the bakery actually contains a piece of Starheart and has him encased in a life-supporting force field.
- He is not merely my son but the avatar of some long forgotten god such as Khonshu.
- He has a genetic mutation, much the same as Hank McCoy, that will only fully appear when he hits puberty. Heaven help me!
- He was caught in a nuclear explosion while at daycare and now has the ability to create identical duplicates of himself, thus what I am seeing is not one active little boy, but several more sedate ones.
- He is able to convert impact energy into raw strength and therefore the more active he is, the more things he crashes into, the stronger he becomes.
- His energy is linked to his surroundings and somehow increases as his parents energy levels decrease.
- His natural physiology was enhanced by immersion into an electrical field conducted by a chemical compound.
