Here at GeekDad, we're not one to put much credence in hocus-pocus, dice-rolling, or other methods to prognosticate the future.
But as we reported here last week, an artist at the Allegra LaViola Gallery in New York City gallery staged a knock-down, drag-out, D&D smack-down between proxies for President Obama and Mitt Romney, and I have to admit I was hoping a certain candidate might win.
Would a victory in the D&D world give his campaign a boost -- and possibly make up for his not-very-impressive debate performance? And could it help in the debate tonight?
Casey Jex Smith staged an event for his show Fiend in the Void, a solo exhibition of gaming-inspired works on paper and sculpture. At the opening party, volunteers rolled dice and tried to kill off the characters "King Belian Shipsale" (Obama) and "Lord Spelldyal" (Romney). The last man -- er, character -- standing determined how Smith would cast his vote in his home state of Ohio. Really.
And ... the winner is ... Obama.
Here's how Smith described the evening's action.
Early on, gallery patrons "made attacks against their candidate of choice," rolling a d20 to hit and a d4 for damage. "I made everyone 1st or 2nd level characters so they had to roll an 18-20 to hit. So most hits were misses," he said. "If they rolled from 14-8, they died and I, in DM style, told them of their gruesome death. If they rolled a 7-1, I explained how their death was not only gruesome, but humiliating. Those were fun." Most patrons, he said, "attacked Mitt."
By 7:15 or so, Mitt had been knocked down from 159 hit points to around 120. Obama was down from 91 to about 80 hit points.
Then Smith donned a cyclops mask and blue velvet cape. He called forth "two worthy souls to stand in proxy for Lord Spelldyal and King Belian." Two people stepped forward. In a prerecorded, deep and malevolent voice, he had them drink from two potions so that their "bowels would be cleansed" and their "minds enlightened."
They were then given a sword and a pyramid, and told to insert them into two pedestals. The sword lit up with a strobe light as a thunderous sound issued forth. When the pyramid was inserted, smoke spewed from a smoke machine. The two put on Romney and Obama masks. Smith told them they were "ready to battle and roll unto the deathTTTHHHH!!!!!"
The two contestants rolled giant d20s into a box that resembled a craps table. Obama used a d12 for damage and Mitt a d10. Then came the climactic moment: "The hits went back and forth until Mitt had 10 hit points and Obama had 20," Smith said. The final roll took Mitt to -1 hit points. Smith pronounced King Belian the victor and finished saying "My vote binds the future."
"People were pretty happy Obama won," Smith concluded. "I was a little sad because Mitt was my flawed protagonist. But happy that people were happy. I will take my cyclops mask into the voting booth in November and take a photo of my vote for Obama."
Let's hope the candidate of your choice musters a little magic, and muscle, for the next debate.
