A while back, we posted a list of 33 geeky insults you can use anywhere. Well, almost anywhere. After months of meticulous research, carefully combing of the internet, and actually reading the comments at the end of the previous article (not to mention just making a few up), we want to present another 33 of the best geeky insults.
Use them wisely, grasshopper.
You are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
— Evil, Time Bandits
Well, my days of not takin' ya seriously are certainly comin' to a middle.
— Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly
You're not a complete idiot… some parts are missing.
—Anonomous
Listen, three eyes, don't you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
— Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
— Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings
Bubble-headed booby.
— Dr. Zachary Smith, Lost in Space
You're so dumb you think Max Planck is a board used to build really wide houses.
— Anonymous
He's out to lunch, breakfast, dinner, tea, supper, the lot. He's not in for a single meal, if you ask me.
—Rimmer, Red Dwarf
It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.
— Marvin the Paranoid Android, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
You are very fat and stupid and persistently wear a ridiculous hat which you should be ashamed of.
— The Great Zaganza, The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul
Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.
— Zoe, Firefly
They have a plentiful lack of wit.
— Hamlet, Hamlet
Hand over the calculator; friends don't let friends derive drunk.
—Anonymous
Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind I have ever met.
— The Doctor, Doctor Who
You're like a trained ape, only without the training.
— Simon, Firefly
Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.
—Anonymous
You were right. That must be a novel experience for you.
— Avon, Blake's Seven
To you, Baldrick [or other name], the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?
— Black Adder, Blackadder II
You're so dense, light bends around you.
— Anonymous
People, my god; people. Nature gave them tongues, technology gave them loudspeakers, and they all believe that because they can use both, whatever they say is important.
— Pat Cadigan, Rewired Anthology
You're so stupid, you think a thesaurus is a monster from Jurassic Park.
— Anonymous
You are the most obnoxious, trumped-up, farty little smeghead it has ever been my misfortune to encounter!
—Kryten, Red Dwarf
Four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one.
—Beatrice, Much Ado About Nothing
There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick.
— Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul
Copernicus just called: You're not the center of the universe.
— Anonymous
You wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing "subtle plans are here again."
— Black Adder, Black Adder
Hab SoSlI' Quch! [Your mother has a smooth forehead!]
—Anonymous, Klingon
You are a driver —and I use the word in the loosest possible sense, i.e., meaning merely somebody who occupies the driving seat of what I will for the moment call — but I use the term strictly without prejudice — a car while it is proceeding along the road — of stupendous, I would even say verging on the super-human, lack of skill.
— Dirk Gently, The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul
Never hung poison on a fouler toad. Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.
—Anne, Richard III
He's about as effective as a cat flap in an elephant house.
—Black Adder, Blackadder the Third
You don't have the brains to understand. All you have is printed circuits.
—Captain Kirk, Star Trek
If brains were photons you would be perfect for the double slit experiment.
—Anonymous
Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence.
—Arnold Rimmer, Red Dwarf
