As a gamer, I play a lot of video games. In playing a lot of video games, I also die a lot. I mean all the freaking time. I think I "fell down" in Call of Duty: World at War at least 20 times last night before finally realizing that I should probably pick my shots better. In most games, that's what you do - you fall down and die.
In the spirit of Halloween, I've compiled a short list of some of the most creative and memorable deaths that I've experienced playing video games. I'm talking about your character dying, not the enemy. I've left out the gory and the insane, but I'm pretty sure you'll mention them in the comments. Instead I'd like to think this list will make us all realize that we are all in fact mortal, and we don't have a restart button. Though some of us may, and I'll see all of you at "The Quickening."
10: Sub-Zero's Winter Wonderland.
I know this is the first one that popped in your little gamer heads. Mortal Kombat featured a multitude of great finishing moves that could only be pulled off with extreme finger dexterity, the most popular being Sub-Zero's ripping out of the spine. However, my favorite was Sub-Zero simply making a snowman. You had lost, and instead of brutally killing you, your opponent makes a snowman - adding insult to injury.
9: Pac-Man is an Antacid.
One of the most classic video game deaths comes from the old standard, Pac-Man. When touched by a ghost, our pizza pie shaped hero rolls onto his back, dislocates his giant jaw and dissolves into nothingness. This was quite creative considering that most video game deaths at this time just appeared as if the character was frozen, then it would restart. Don't forget about the iconic sound he makes while dying. If you had another quarter, you could easily summon him back from the black hole of video game death.
8: Getting Your Lights Punched Out.
The best boxing game out there, Fight Night (rounds 3 or 4) provides one of the most realistic beat downs ever in a video game. When you get knocked down, the camera pans out a little and the screen emulates what your vision would be like if you just got punched in the face one too many times. Sometimes you just stagger and fall, other times you go down hard. It all depends on the type of punch you just took to put you down. It hurts my jaw just to think about it.
7. Having a Bad Fur Day.
No one can deny that Conkers Bad Fur Day was a strange little game. You are a binge drinking squirrel prone to violence, not to mention full of poop jokes. In the multiplayer player vs. player mode if you play as the evil Tediz character and happen to get sliced in half by a samurai sword your body slides apart leaking... stuffing. No guts, no teddy blood, stuffing. It's the cutest death scene I've ever seen in a game.
6. It Sucks Being the Little Guy.
In the classic game Duke Nukem 3D, one of the many power-ups in the game was one that made you shrink so you could walk underneath an obstacle. There was one side effect to being tiny though, you could get stepped on by enemy. Or if you didn't make it all the way through the obstacle, you would re-size and find out what would have happened if R2-D2 hadn't turned off the trash compactor. Squishy.
5. No Mercy Means Showing the Goods.
In the game Killer Instinct (a clear Mortal Kombat clone) you could play as some not so human characters. Or you could play as B. Orchid. The only female character in the game, one of her "No Mercy" finishing moves set the woman's liberation movement back a couple steps. Enter the right combo and she'd whip open her uniform to flash her breasts (the breasts were not actually seen by the player) and your character would have a heart attack at the sight and die. Unless your character happened to be another B. Orchid, at which point you'd stomp the ground in spite. This was a great early example that video game programmers like boobs. (See: Lara Croft & The Dead or Alive series for further proof.)
4. The Many Deaths of Dirk the Daring.
Dragon's Lair, the only game I ever heard of that came out on Laserdisc featured the clumsy knight Dirk in his quest to save Princess Daphne from the lair of Singe the Dragon. The damn game also cost $.50 at the arcade when all other games were $.25. There were some really interesting ways to die in this game and is the first arcade game I remember that made dying in a video game and losing $.50 in a minute not that bad. From falling (a lot) to drowing (a lot) to being burned (a lot) and electrocuted (a lot) Dirk found a way to muck up his quest and leave Daphne hanging. Let us also not forget consumed by slime, beaten, stabbed and turned into stone.
3. Becoming Yoshi Excrement.
For years Yoshi was a slave to Mario's whims. Standing still when not needed and haplessly running off cliffs if not controlled. With Super Smash Bros., and specifically the Melee version, Yoshi took control. His attacks were the strongest in the game and utilized all of his talents. Like eating you and pooping out an egg. While you wouldn't normally die from this move unless your health was way down, you would die if Yoshi ate you in mid-jump and pooped you off the side of a cliff. Scrambled or sunny side up?
2. Getting Tackled by the Ambulance.
While this death didn't happen to you, the player specifically, it still deserves mention because of the sheer hilarity. In the 1992 release of Madden Football when a player was injured to the point of not being able to play, an ambulance would drive out onto the field - running over everyone in its path. Not just running them over, but knocking them off their feet and off the screen as well as routinely running over the injured player. To this day, it hasn't been confirmed if this was a bug or an intentional joke by the programmers.
1: Almost Every Death in Space Quest I-III
How could I not mention Space Quest? While there have been six iterations of this fantastic adventure game over the years, none have matched the creativity and spunk of the first three games. With the death scenes being unexpected and full of sarcasm and criticism of our bumbling hero Roger Wilco, it was hard to pick just one. So I didn't. Here's a list of some of my favorites of the many deaths of Roger Wilco in Space Quest.
- Death by Duke Nukem Robots. "Better hang out at the gym more often." (SQ III)
- Death by Conveyor Belt. "Shredded like an Iran-Contra document, your many independent parts flutter to the bottom of the hopper." (SQ III)
- Death by Going Too Far South. "Get eaten by a giant snake." (SQ III)
- Death by Pole Vaulting w/Detonator. "Didn't mom always tell you not to play with firecrackers?" (SQ III)
- Death by metal sheet. "It's obvious that the metal sheet was sharper than you" (SQ III)
- Death by Mushroom. "Holy geez, boy! That mushroom thing sucked you clean up! You can't move a muscle nor see a speck of light." (SQ II)
- Death by Root Monster. "The giant root-looking thing is giving you a guided tour of its digestive system." (SQ II)
- Death by Orat. "Orat has transformed you into a new piece of recreational equipment. Along with finding this treatment extremely rude, you don't survive it." (SQ I)
- Death by Smelling Acid. "That's right. You have no head. That darn pool must be filled with acid. You obviously can't go on living that way." (SQ I)
- Death by Tasting Acid. "That's right. You have no head. That darn pool must be filled with acid. You obviously can't go on living that way." (SQ I)
- Death by Touching Acid. "Sure, you've died a few deaths before, but this one really burns you. Planets are depending on you. Seeing you do stuff like this is definitely making them nervous." (SQ I)
To wit, video game death doesn't always have to be blood and gore. It also doesn't have to just be your character falling down, and as shown by the Fight Night example, you don't even have to die. What are some of your favorite death scenes in video games?
