How To Be a Woman

Has anyone else picked up British columnist Caitlin Moran's new book, How to be a Woman? I was reading it on the train out from Manhattan earlier this week and could not stop laughing! Imagine a book that takes on traditional feminist issues (subjugation by the patriarchy, the perils of princess iconography) but somehow manages to be funnier than The Bloggess; a book that asks women, among other salient questions:

• Why are so few of us (a mere 29% in America, 42% in Britain) comfortable with calling ourselves feminists?
• When did the complete removal of female pubic hair become mandatory?
• Is cheap and easy access to online pornography killing our sexual imaginations? How about the imaginations of our adolescent children? Also: do any of the participants in porn appear to be enjoying themselves? Could pornography be joyous? Shouldn't it be?

I was going to suggest that we make this a GeekMom Book Club selection but How to be a Woman stridently demands to be read as a real-life book club pick; begs to be cherry-picked and read aloud, favorite passage by favorite passage, to cackling groups of women surrounding hors d'oeuvres-laden tables, all on their third glass of box wine.

I absolutely think that we women need to get together and talk among ourselves about the topics that Moran brings up: relationships, babies, careers, hair (both the desirable and not-so-desirable kinds), shoes. And let's also talk about reproductive health. In America, after all, we've got a major-party vice-presidential candidate who co-sponsored a bill that would give fetuses full personhood rights from the moment of conception. We also live in a country where half of all pregnancies are unintended. To my mind, these two facts stand in conflict, merit further robust dialog–and then perhaps a visit to our local congressional representatives...

Not everyone will necessarily find Moran as funny as I did, and even readers who find the author uproarious may be unprepared, toward the end of the book, for the level of candor she brings to the details of her own abortion–an abortion that she chose to undergo rather than further derail her career in order to birth and parent a third child. I don't believe that Moran included this experience simply to shock; I think she included it because she wanted to move the conversation about abortion beyond the parameters of rape and incest, into decisions of personal control of one's body. Whether you agree with her decision or no, surely it is important to clearly define the line where abortion and birth control become acceptable, each ourselves, rather than have others define it for us.

So, I'm wondering, GeekMoms, in the interim, while you are ordering your copy of How to be a Woman and sending "save the date" invites to the members of your new book-discussion group, are you up for a debate? What precisely does the word feminist mean to you? Would you describe yourself as one? What concepts, questions, and dilemmas are embedded in your understanding of the word? This is Moran's take:

What do you think feminism IS ladies? What part of "liberation for women" is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay?

Here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hands in your underpants.

a. Do you have a vagina? and

b. Do you want to be in charge of it?

If you said yes to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist!

I'm wondering: Is it really as simple as that?
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ4DzEJ8ax4[/youtube]