With just under
$300 million in box office receipts and a
33 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Battleship isn't exactly a shining example of how to turn vintage toys and games into blockbuster fodder.
But that's not stopping Hollywood from playing the nostalgia card, with a seemingly never-ending array of movies based on vintage board games and toys: Flicks inspired by
Tonka trucks and those freaky-looking
Good Luck Trolls are currently in the works.
When Wired cobbled together a list of"
10 toy-based movie ideas that would blow away Battleship, our always-thoughtful readers came up with some snarky, studio-ready possibilities of their own. Check out their craziest elevator pitches — and some of the vintage advertisements that inspired them — in the gallery above.
Above:
Movie Idea: Lite Brite
Elevator pitch: In 2030, a world-famous, billionaire artist has created seven massive light installations by inserting giant, colored light pegs into peg boards custom-built from an everything-proof titanium/steel/unobtainium alloy. Each is to be stationed on one continent for a worldwide grand exhibition, but during final preparations, the light switches act together to create a set of symbolic signals. Multiple complex communications begin pouring in to international space agencies from distant galaxies. World governments mobilize.
Is Earth about to meet its fate? Is the artist an alien in disguise? What about his estranged scientist brother and attractive, clever children? Can brothers reunite and help thwart the possible end of humanity? Can world powers use experimental technology to reach out to alien civilizations and begin a new Galactic Age of exploration? Or is the military-industrial complex on a runaway train to Armageddon?
Reader: KT
