On September 8—the same day Star Trek turns 45—my oldest will be 16. SIXTEEN! I don't know where the time has gone. It seems like only yesterday that I was in my last week of pregnancy, trying to survive one of the hottest summers on record, waiting for my first born to arrive. It seems like only yesterday that I was told, "Congratulations! It's a healthy baby boy!" and then I was putting this little babe to breast for the first time. It seems like only yesterday that this tiny, helpless and completely dependent, 8lb, 22in baby came into my life. And now, he is nearly 16, is extremely helpful and a mostly independent 5'10" man.
I'm not sure how it in your part of the world, but in my part of the world, 16 is a really big deal. When you turn 16, you take on a whole new set of adult responsibilities. Turning 16 means:
- Being responsible for your ID and carrying it on your person;
- Being responsible for obtaining an adult passport and deemed an adult for international travel;
- No longer being mandated to attend school, it now becomes a choice;
- Being able to obtain a driving permit, though you do need parental consent for that, which is hard to rectify as you do not need parental consent to obtain a passport;
- The ability to gain employment without parental consent;
- A social insurance number;
- Becoming a tax payer, if employed and making more than the personal exemption amount;
- Age of consent for sexual activity.
There are only a few things left and he will be considered fully adult. It is very difficult for me to wrap my brain around this. All it wants to do is scream, "HOW AND WHEN DID WE GET HERE?! SERIOUSLY! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?"
Not too long ago, I sat down with my oldest and explained to him what his rights and responsibilities will be once he turns 16. Most of it, he already knew was coming and didn't really want it to. He told me he liked being a child and wasn't ready to grow-up, at least not quite yet. I smiled and told him I didn't think I was ready for it either, but here we were.
The thing that really blew his mind was the whole thing about the passport. He told me something like, "The government deems us adult AT SIXTEEN?" I smiled and replied, "When it comes to international travel, yes." He retorted, "Then the government is stupid. Have you met a 16-year-old?! They are not exactly responsible enough for that!" I smiled, again, and replied, "Yes, I have met a 16-year-old. In fact, I'm the parent of a near 16-year-old. And believe it or not, I was once a 16-year-old. I know how responsible and irresponsible they can be. However, by that statement, you've just demonstrated how responsible you actually are. You know your limitations and because of that, I don't think I have much to worry about." Of course, he had a smart response to that, "Well then, you haven't spent enough time with my friends. They are idiots who can't handle that responsibility." An even bigger smile crossed my face when I responded, "And that is their parents' problem. My concern is what you and I think you are ready for." Next there was a mumble, something about, "I guess so", followed by a thunderous shrug of the shoulders.
My oldest baby is soon to be 16. SIXTEEN! The both of us are having a lot of mixed emotions about this stage of life. Both of us wish he was little again. Both of us are excited to see what happens as he takes his first major steps into adulthood, instead of testing out the waters from time to time. But regardless, both of us will head out into this phase of our joint life journey, hand-in-hand, cherishing each bitter-sweet step of it.
Next thing I know, he'll be graduating and off to university.
What ages caused you to really stop and think when your child reached them? What ages are still waiting for you, ages that you feel will be bitter-sweet?
