What? You think Hurricane Irene is scary as it barrels toward the east coast? Did the east coast earthquake make you soil your smallclothes? You must not have been focused on the gale-force destruction we served to you.
Rebels and vandals took Tripoli's handles, but they haven't yet locked down thousands of deadly missiles and rockets. The tiniest countries bared their fangs and claws. No one knows where our money went, but at least the satellites give us a better view of Scud-wielding tyrants' redoubts.
So you better pay someone to protect you. Bar the gates of entry. Decide if you want in on the ground floor. Even the unlikeliest of opponents have robotic allies. Don't waste your words, even if others can't understand you. When that chopper comes for you, you better be ready. Because if we survive this Jerry Bruckheimer-meets-Michael Bay weather, next week there will be no evacuation.
