What better way to attract youngsters for the rigors of elite warriorhood than by offering them a free t-shirt?
There's nothing like killing Osama bin Laden in an operation destined for the spec-ops pantheon to re-establish yourself as the baddest of the bad-ass. So it's only natural that the Navy Special Warfare Command wants new swag to "increase brand awareness of the Navy SEALs." But, uh, water bottles, coins and packpacks?
Soon to grace your mall recruitment station or county fair: latex and silicone swim caps ("invulnerable to UV rays and chlorine"), workout towels with "clean freak antimicrobial technology," lanyards, fin-shaped metal ornaments and white and black t-shirts, all rocking the SEAL logo. And yet not a single one of these things say "I Killed bin Laden."
But the Navy figures they're SEAL bait. The new swag should appeal to "males 13-28 years old who are physically fit, mentally sharp, resilient and mature," according to a recent solicitation for such "promotional items." You know what those dudes are crying out for? Lanyards.
The Navy's already balked at a different approach to upping the SEAL brand. After the bin Laden raid, Disney wanted to patent the term "SEAL Team 6" to put on crappy Magic Kingdom merch. Not exactly the kind of messaging you'd want for an elite fighting force. Disney backed down from its crass scheme after the Navy called it out.
But what -- no remakes of awesomely bad Charlie Sheen movies? Or more art house-style recruiting commercials? No official first-person shooters from inside the Abbottabad compound -- there's clearly a demand for it! -- or shirts declaring Zawahiri as the next target? Then again, maybe the SEALs have enough swagger on their own right now.
Photo: U.S. Navy
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