If there is one debate that I do not understand, despite my best efforts to wrap my brain around it, it is the “Do geek girls exist/ Can pretty girls be geeks?” debate.
Normally, I will watch this debate occur on various blogs and Twitter, try my best to consider it from all sides, then shake my head in bewilderment and conclude that I must be from another planet, as the ideas are beyond foreign to me.
In my mind, this debate reminds me a lot of high school. Then the title of Miss USA was awarded this week to someone who is a self-proclaimed science and history nerd and the resulting discussion on Twitter left my blood boiling.
I think it is important to give you my frame of reference in this debate, as we each have our own experiences that have helped to outline the nerds and geeks we have grown up to be.
I was born a nerd.
There was no coming out of the nerd/geek closet. My earliest memories involve organizing all of my books according to the Dewey Decimal System, spending hours pouring over non-fiction and learning every thing I could about anything, geeking-out over science fiction television and more. For most of my childhood and adolescence, I was the lone nerd/geek in my group of peers and they always just accepted it. They did not tease me for it because it was just who I was. They found other things to tease me over, such as the fact I was poor. On the other hand, my family was a different matter. Some still find it “cute” that I more than adore all things Star Trek, as if it is a childhood phase you are suppose to outgrow.
Despite not having acceptance from my family and not having a peer group with similar interests, I never longed to “fit in” nor did I strive to have geekdom be something that is accepted. I just wanted to be accepted as a person, nothing more or less. However, I do understand that is not the norm and most people want to feel as if they are part of a larger group and spend many years either fighting for this acceptance or going into the geek closet due to fear of retribution.
As I got older and found more of “my kind”, I never had to prove anything to my male peers. Sure my sex is female, my gender is questionable and some would consider me attractive, but my actions and who I am are telltale signs that I have geek cred. Have men discriminated again me? Sure, but never when it came to being a nerd/geek.
When it came to females, my experiences have been the opposite. More times than not, I've had to elbow my way into any female group and go through some sort of trial phase, for both things geeky and non-geeky. This trial phase normally ends with my rejection from the tribe for things, such as I'm not feminine enough, I'm not feminist enough, I don't share the same interests, I'm too outspoken and too honest, I'm too intelligent, and the list goes on. Acceptance among women has been difficult to achieve, but as I have acceptance elsewhere, I shrug it off and spend time where the whole is appreciated, because at least I have that.
Also, as I grew up, I received two messages, from family, that made it very difficult to later accept that I may be attractive.
The first message was that it was a good thing my sister was attractive because she wasn't going to succeed on her intelligence or lack thereof. The second message was that it was a good thing that I was intelligent because my looks were not going to get me anywhere. So when I read that Miss USA, Alyssa Campanella, shows signs of real intelligence and labels herself a history and science geek, I was exceedingly happy. That was until I saw the discussion on Twitter.
The question on Twitter was:
I responded with a yes and gave @ActionChick a link to The Intersection blog post, which includes the following video. I thought that would be the end of my two cents.
[youtube width="560" height="349"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvfWnFSor78[/youtube]
As I was preparing to unplug from the digital world, the following tweet came up. It left my blood boiling:
I think my responses give a little bit of a glimpse into my disgust over this statement:
You can read more of this discussion on Katrina's blog.
What kind of message does this send to both our young girls and young boys? Do we really want to continue with the message that you must choose between beauty and intelligence?
I don't care what Miss USA wants to label herself as. Bottom line, she is willing, wanting and able to talk about subjects, in an intelligent and well-thought-out fashion; subjects that are considered hot button and political topics in the US, such as creationism vs evolution, pornography, gay marriage and marijuana. When one of the front runners for the Republican party's presidential nomination states that Intelligent Design and Evolution have equal scientific credibility, a country needs all the reasoned voices it can get.
It appears that because she is beautiful and perfectly made-up, her statements are not to be taken credibility. Why? Because sex sells? Yes, sex does sell and it can be an unfortunate circumstance. That is another issue and debate that is not going to get solved overnight. But while we are having that debate and trying to solve that issue, why are we penalizing those who have a pretty face? Do you want your attractive child passing up a career in science, technology, beauty or both because the message they are getting from society tells them they have to choose between beauty and brains? Yes, the track record for intelligence in beauty pageants has not been the best. Miss Teen USA 2007 South Carolina contestant is a good example of this. But beauty and brains do exist and we should be celebrating when it shows up in the mainstream.
For years, nerds and geeks have been fighting for acceptance. Now that we are finally getting it, some are being no better than the bullies by demanding some type of proof. I don't understand why. It isn't as if this is going to take away from our ability to enjoy the things we geek and nerd-out about. In fact, quite the opposite will happen. The more there are people who are willing to openly embrace the things we love, the more they will be available.
Sometimes, I see this issue as having some parallels with the gay marriage question. Those who oppose gay marriage will state things such as, “Allowing homosexuals to marry will destroy the family and the institution of marriage.” The reality is, allowing gays to marry will not prevent straight people from getting married. Nobody loses anything. Now, I'd say the gay marriage issue is one that is truly important because people who are homosexual are being denied many rights and benefits. What rights and benefits do the geek culture stand to lose by people embracing us and wanting to identity with us? Nothing. What do we have to gain? More accessibility and greater diversity.
If there is one thing the geek culture claims to love about itself is that we are an extremely diverse group of people. We come from all backgrounds. We come in different shapes and sizes. We have different sexual orientations and gender identities. Our interests are as numerous as there are stars in the sky. So why are we still stuck in high school and having this debate? Why are we not doing what we longed for as children: Embracing those who want to take part in our activities with open arms and acceptance.
I for one welcome Miss USA into the fold. I also look forward to having someone who may just turn out to be a science ambassador, allowing other young girls who like to pretty themselves up, do so whilst also dreaming and thinking about science, technology, history and global issues.
I don't have a daughter, but I do have a 12-year-old niece and I want her to grow up in a world that allows her to be both beautiful and intelligent. What do you want for your children?
