Sexuality and the Geek Week: Sex & Romance in RPG (Part Three)

In our previous posts, we dealt about the use of romance and sex in RPG.

But, as some reactions prove it, all RPGs may not be suited to such topics.

Glen Taylor of Examiner wonders "What games bring in the best material to explore attraction and romance? Which games are the sexiest?"
He comes with Conan the RPG ("splashing blood and scantily-clad folks of both genders flashing their bits for the audience"), the cyberpunk games (claiming that "The whole cyberpunk genre, with its style-over-substance emphasis, holds a lot of promise for sexiness in gaming") and of course the World of Darkness games (sensuality and blood metaphors for Vampire, wildness and animality for Werewolf, escaping the laws of physics for Mage, the Satyrs in Changeling…).
One may remember Black Dog supplements for White Wolf games ("This definition applies to not only content such as excessive violence or sexual themes, but to games with ideas that need a mature viewpoint to gain any benefit or appreciation.")
I happen to play one of the Black Dog campaigns, the almost mythical Giovanni Chronicles, and it was dark indeed, but not only in a sexual way. There was my business with Vykos, though, but it isn't exactly part of the campaign.
However, Eternal Hearts, an erotica novel set in the universe of Vampire: The Masquerade, wasn't exactly a success.
He also picks the more recent White Wolf game Exalted.
I haven't play it but if I believe School Library Journal and their "Tips for introducing role-playing games in your library" :

The game includes some mature subject matter, including slavery and political and religious controversy. It also deals with alternative sexuality, making it a unique RPG.

Some other games include romance as part of their storylines and character creation, such as the delightful steampunk-fantasy Castle Falkenstein where every character must choose a Nemesis and a (usually impossible) Love, as well as list her social, professional and romantic goals.
Arthurian RPG Pendragon also includes romance, courtship, marriage and children in characters' interests and stories' plots. The game even proposes a Lover's Solo scenario in which the PC will follow all the steps of courtly love :

3I. Collect Rewards. Successes at this stage lead towards more liberties. During this stage the lady will allow her lover to lick her lips, to whisper softly in her ear, to touch her ears with his lips, to feel her breasts, to place his tongue in her mouth, to lick her neck, to fondle her naked breats and to kiss them. When all the Reluctance has been erased, go to Step 4.

Some indie games are even completely devoted to romantic matters, such as Black & Green's trilogy of "three quick games about the humanheart", Breaking the Ice ("Play out the ups and downs of a couple's first three dates. From first bumbling attempts to get to know one another, to the stirrings of trust and desire. Watch the attraction flare, and see if the flame will light a fire that will last for a lifetime--or just burn brightly and flicker out. Falling in love was never so much fun!"), Shooting the Moon ("Two Suitors compete for the affection of a shared Beloved, who has overwhelming odds of their own to face. United and divided by their shared fates and intertwined destinies--the game will let you see what these three characters are made of, and what they will do for love.") and Under my Skin ("A group of friends get together and secret loves and passions erupt. Partners and lovers have to face up to their fears and jealousies as they find that time has taken its toll on their relationships. Passions rage and lovers see whether their relationships will last or crumble under the pressures of temptation over a potential new love.").

Some RPGs focused on the darker and less romantic aspects of sex, such as the great contemporary horror game Kult, "notable for its philosophical and religious depth as well as for its mature content." Kult is no longer published but one may find some resources on its Unofficial Home.

But you may even find "adult material" for mainstream RPGs such as Dungeons and Dragons.
Unfortunately, RPG books dealing with sex appear to be… let's say expendable, in the best cases. I admit I haven't read any of them but I follow specialists' reviews and none of them makes me want to buy the books :

• The Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (yes, most of these books have incredible titles) is reviewed by RPG Geek :

[the book gives] any fantasy RPG GM the answers to many sexual RPG questions. Like:

"What are the sexual habits of a black dragon?" "A kobold?" "Are they even compatible?!?" […]

"How can 3.0 spells be used in sexual situations or for sexual health?" "And have people designed NEW spells to be used in the bedroom or for sexual enhancement?"
They have.
This is one of the more sexually healthy D&D sex guides out there. (I can't believe I said that.) Yes, there is a "Prismatic Dildo" spell, but there is also "Painless Birth".[…]
A lot of thought has gone into making it a usable resource. How seriously and closely you follow the rules to sexual conquest (Sexual Tricks and Feats!) is up to you. ;)"

• Naughty & Dice: An Adult Gamer's Guide to Sexual Situations is reviewed on RPG.net :

Sabledrake Enterprise's Naughty & Dice attempts to bring the scandalous topic of sex into the role-playing game arena. This 108 page, perfect-bound supplement includes game mechanics, skills, magic, and sexually oriented character types alongside illustrations of half-nude elfin "babes," examples of sexually oriented plot in the form of gaming fiction, and a gaggle of witticisms on sex quoted from literature, pop culture icons, and historical figures. Naughty & Dice also features an impressive chapter on the history of sex as well as a few adventure ideas to aid timid GMs. "

Not very convincing, except for "Especially within chapters seven through nine (Pregnancy & Conception, The Folklore of Sex, and The Mythology of Sex) and chapter fifteen (Sex in History), it quickly becomes evident that the authors are suggesting that sex and sexuality is simply a part of life. To play in an RPG where sex is nonexistent would be unrealistic. Not only that, but with the way sexuality is inexorably intertwined in society [as the authors imply in Chapter Fifteen: Sex in History], PCs need never play out the most intimate scenes of a sexual encounter in order to feel the repercussions.

• There's also The Book of Erotic Fantasy

• And I won't even link to FATAL ("Fantasy Adventure To Adult Lechery", can you believe it ?). I read the review on RPG.net archives and was horrified.

My position is that romance and sex may be used in most games, especially one I used to experiment as a player and a GM, Amber RPG.

Here are some ways I used romance & sex as a GM for this game :

• I used a Destined Beloved theme for one of my PCs. That's not easy, for a PC is free to be indifferent to the NPC you meant for him/her. You have to proceed carefully. I was inspired by the great SF French comic books series Le Vagabond des Limbes and worked at two levels : in his dreams, the PC met his Destined Beloved, enjoyed time with her, involving romance and possibly sex, and finally learnt she was waiting for him to rescue her from Dreamworld ; in his reality, he met a very amiable child whom he came to like a lot, before understanding the child was the past of his Beloved One. When the two timelines were united, the PC had really come to know and to love his Destined Love Interest. They ended married and had children, and still enjoy romantic and sensual moments.

• Another PC wrote a very short story for his background, implying he had been infatuated with a famous NPC, Princess Deirdre. At this time, it was clearly an unrequited love, but later in the campaign, Deirdre's situation changed as much as to allow her to come closer to the PC. They were both outlaws, both self-exiled from a triumphant and sunny Amber.That was the beginning of a wonderful tragic tale of dark romance between them which makes great memories for the player and for me. Their first embrace was obviously a very important scene, as the PC had desired her for many years, and couldn't be avoided. I described it in a way I hope was suggestive but not trivial.

• A third player had a very "classic" romance with a young lady from the Courts of Chaos. Wait a minute : classic ? from Chaos ? So it became a little more complicated, mainly for in-game decisions, when the lady became betrothed to the King of Chaos himself. As she was also an agent of a powerful matriarchal structure, inspired by Dune's Bene Gesserit, sex was a matter of importance. She was meant to bear the PC's child, you see ? And as she truly loved him, she didn't want to use him in that way. Still following me ? Anyway, when they were finally reunited and (almost) free to love each other, that was a very important moment. Still, the description stayed soft and minimal.

• My other PCs (including the only female one) had love interests at various moments but never came to a real relationship. I have to say these ones were the less experienced players, probably less at ease with role-playing.

So, are romance and sex topics of "advanced role-playing" ?

Anyway, I loved reading all your experiences in the comments and I hope some of you will consider adding romantic elements to your RPG plots.