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Our 7-yr-old has been lobbying us for a sibling for as long as he's been able to speak. This spring, however, a simple surgical procedure rendered that unlikely, and so we began casting about for alternative sources of companionship. Eventually, after a joint campaign between the kid and his grandparents, we caved on the idea of a dog.
Naturally, I turned to GeekDad for answers. And while there's advice on housing a temporary pet, or on finding ageeky pet, there is no authoritative GeekDad guide to that All-American enterprise — finding a dog.
Sure, you could go to your local shelter, where there are probably dozens of super-friendly dogs of all sorts who really need a new home, if you know what I mean. And that certainly has its appeal. But it's hard to customize, optimize, or obsess-ize over that process in a suitably geeky way, so, without further ado: Some GeekDad Tips on Buying a Dog.
- All searches start on the web. You can research breeds, breeders, supplies, and more, all from the comfort of your chair. NOTE: Breeders can be about as honest as online dating clients. Buyer beware.
- For maximum stress, be sure to pick a breeder halfway across the country, who's offering her dog's first puppies for sale. (This worked out great, though--you can see our breeder's website here.)
- Even if you've decided you want a small dog, be prepared to buy a big dog if she comes with a superhero birthmark: That's, like, a sign, right? (More pics from back in the day.)
- If the breeder has named your puppy "Batgirl," make sure your kid outnerds her by choosing a name from classical literature. In this case, the Iliad-obsessed 6-yr-old chose "Athena."
- If your yard doesn't already have a fence, you're going to need to get one. Trust me: holding the puppy's leash while she decides for the 12th time this morning whether she has to pee or not is ... frustrating. You're a GeekDad, so you're going to want to go with a wireless fence, right? It's less expensive than a regular fence, requires less upkeep, plus it's wireless. Speaks for itself. This is the moment when you discover that the breed you chose has a pain tolerance that's too high for wireless fences. A regular fence it is!
- That last bullet__ just cost you thousands of dollars, or weekends of effort__, so we'll pause and honor that.
- Your six-year-old will not be able to endure the waiting time for a puppy. It will make the wait for Christmas seem like a happy, patient time. Your six-year-old will also know that GeekDad runs on WordPress, and that the blog you started used to run on WP before it got bought out. So, one day you'll come home and find that your six-year-old has, not only signed up for a blog at WordPress.com, but has figured out how to set the domain name for it, and is now blogging away about dog ownership at AthenaTheOwlGoddess.com. Congrats! Now you get to nag your kid about the care and feeding of his blog, as well as his puppy.
- All puppies and dogs need toys. And while it's true that it's easy to find good chew toys, such as your partner's shoes, you want to do better. Geekier. Fortunally, ThinkGeek is prepared to meet your needs. Just go to this page and order one of everything, even the stuff for cats. (Athena definitely recommends the iBone.)
That's it! You should be ready for your new puppy. Be aware that your life is over for a few months, as you help your puppy adjust. Remember when you used to prefer the reusable shopping bags at the grocery store? Now you'll triple-bag each item in plastic bags in order to make sure you have enough for her walks. My wife had decreed in advance that the dog would NOT be allowed on the furniture. This picture is from the first day she was left alone with the puppy by herself.
We also like to joke that the advance costs of the dog were much higher than those for the boy. Our son cost $5: The copayment at the doctor's visit in Atlanta when they confirmed the pregnancy. We'll have nightmares about the fence bill for a long time.
(Pro tip: Our dog gets one-third cup of pumpkin mixed with rice with every meal, along with her dry food. Keeps her stool organized and her coat lustrous!)
Obviously, this has been written in a relatively lighthearted way: I'm not here to advocate for purebred dogs, and I really do think that, in most cases, a dog from a shelter is super-awesome. (I will say, however, that boxers are an amazing breed, particularly for families: smart and playful, loyal and energetic. From the moment they met, Athena and the 7-yr-old have been best friends. She even helps with math!)
