<< previous image | next image >>
You might think that underwear, of all things, would be least susceptible to our tendency to gadgetize absolutely everything around us.
Guess again: A few courageous entrepreneurs have come up with a gaggle of garments — call them undie upgrades — that combine tech and tighty whities.
From coping with global warming to protecting against radiation to maintaining proper hygiene, these are some of our favorite geeky undergarments.
What’s your verdict: Useful or ridiculous? Or do you have your own favorite geeky underwear concepts? Let us know in the comments!
Above: While scientists and politicians bicker about climate change, responsible consumers have altered their habits to cut down on waste and greenhouse gases. But are they prepared to insert heated pads into their cups to ward off nippy conditions?
Utility companies in Japan initiated a conservation effort during 2005, aimed at reducing carbon emissions. Thermostats were kept at 68 degrees and citizens asked to dress more warmly at home and work. Triumph International collaborated by introducing the Warm Biz Bra which contains two reheatable gelatinous pouches. The chili bangle adornment located between the two cups lights up when a comfortable temperature is achieved.
Unfortunately, there are no statistics on how much electricity is used by microwaving bra pouches.
<< previous image | next image >>
In Japan, astronauts have teamed up with scientists to develop and test a new line of garments which can be worn for weeks at a time without requiring washing.
The Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency sent Takao Doi to test antibacterial materials by performing strenuous exercise in zero gravity. In space, crew members must go days without changing their clothes, so in addition to being sleek and sexy, the astro-fabric is supposedly flame- and odor-resistant, insulating and quick-drying. Special socks accompany the outfits, with a separate pouch for the big toe, enabling astronauts to use their feet as hands.
<< previous image | next image >>
With texting drivers, compulsive Facebook checkers and chatty Cathys in the movie theater, our ability to communicate 24/7 is not always a good thing. But what about the radiation from those ubiquitous smartphones?
While the jury’s still out on whether it’s dangerous or not, some people are taking no chances: Italian clothing maker Kissbaby is working to ensure future generations will be born healthy enough to drive poorly, text incessantly and blab ceaselessly.
Responding to an absolute lack of scientific consensus regarding the medical consequences of home appliance radiation, the Milan-based company launched their line of radiation-shielding maternity clothes in 2004. Fashion-conscious, the company’s designers combined double-layered cotton-polyester blends with tinsel, which may or may not be the same material used to adorn Christmas trees.
Particularly paranoid expectant mothers can add a removable protective lining which, Kissbaby claims, will block 100 percent of electromagnetic radiation being aimed at their unborn.
<< previous image | next image >>
Keeping your job is the new raise, but overtime can take a toll on the body. Now companies looking to cut down on ergonomic evaluations have a demeaning way of keeping you in line.
Austrian design student Talia Elena Radford Cryns was awarded 3,000 euro and a Dyson vacuum cleaner for inventing a shirt that corrects poor posture through nanotechnological torture. The student presented her nefarious invention during 2007’s Adolf Loos Staatspreis design competition.
This ergonomic undershirt would be laced with sensors and pistons, programmed to evaluate ideal muscle positioning. When your shoulder slumps, a “mechanical impulse” quickly stimulates a correction. Victims of “ergoskin” treatment are expected to quickly alter their behavior, sparing themselves agonizing retribution.
<< previous image | next image >>
Obsessive boyfriends and jealous husbands rejoice: The widespread adoption of GPS-equipped lingerie is nigh.
Actually, Lucia Iorio sees only a harmless bit of fun in her 2008 line of wired underwear. Intended for couples looking to spice up their love lives through a little cat and mouse, the “Find Me If You Can” négligée was instead condemned for being a modern day chastity belt.
The Brazilian designer responded to disparaging remarks by suggesting the ensemble would also double as protection in cities suffering high rates of kidnapping. The GPS feature is under the control of the wearer, so participation is entirely voluntary.
<< previous image | next image >>
Blood pressure can be measured easily, but sterile doctor’s offices and rumbling machinery cause people distress, elevating their readings.
Scientists discovered that by examining the electrical impedance of skin, they can detect variations caused by arterial pulse wave velocity which correlates with changes in blood pressure. Data can be recorded continuously, while the patient wears the garment and goes about his or her normal day, and later downloaded for evaluation. Bingo: More accurate blood pressure readings.
The unresolved question is this: Why not house the gear in socks, wristbands or really anywhere other than in underwear?
<< previous image | next image >>
Spring Break 2011: A massive beaching of college co-eds engulfs shorelines. After car-pooling in Priuses and recycling their Corona bottles, these eco-conscious undergrads suit up in their solar-powered bikinis. The air is filled with incessant chatter, cellphones and iPods fueled by sunbathing. Tequila soaked party-goers delight in the nonstop revelry … until they decide to cool off in the shimmering ocean. Oops: Electrical mayhem ensures.
Another promotional Triumph International creation, 2008’s Solar Power Bra was the company’s big ecological coming-out party. Confused spokespeople claimed the swimsuit was in response to oil dependency, or maybe, to promote Triumph’s investment in solar paneling.
The organic cotton-blend suit carries a photovoltaic cell strong enough to recharge small devices and power an electric bulletin board (“Stop staring at me!”), two cup-hugging drink pouches with attached straws and a stern warning not to get wet.
<< previous image | next image >>
Bearded survivalists, hunters and homicidal maniacs atop bell towers all know that swaddling your kidneys is the most efficient way to stay warm.
According to traditional Chinese medicine, the kidneys are the source of your chi, the essence of being. Fortunately, Germany’s warmX has your best interests at heart, offering a men’s and women’s line of heated undershirts so you can keep your guts warm and your eyes on the prize.
These attractive undershirts come in three colors, with a 1/4-sleeve or full-sleeve option. The rechargeable heating units last six hours, and comes complete with surge protection should you have to escape from your snowy hideout by diving into a reservoir.
Psychotic grin not included.
<< previous image | next image >>
Acolytes of James T. Kirk may dream of hot alien chicks, but until we actually find life in outer space the only way they have of satisfying these science fiction fetishes is glow-in-the-dark underwear.
On the plus side, lab geeks can now delight in the glow of charged phosphors, fantasizing of hot, hot radium.
This line of lingerie comes courtesy of LuminoGlow. Stretch lace is interwoven with luminescent strands, soaking up the sun while you run errands in your underwear. Too modest? Charge up the underwear by flashing your neighbors as you catch rays in your window, or furnish your boudoir with grow lamps.
And how long does the glow last after the lights go out? LuminoGlow coyly suggests that you experience it for yourself.
<< previous image | next image >>
Triumph Japan’s Marriage Hunting Bra is inspired by sobering marriage statistics and a low birth rate. But it takes a novel and somewhat demeaning approach to reversing the trend.
Women program their ideal wedding age into the LED display, and the numbers begin the countdown to crone-hood –- a spilling of seconds that can only be stopped by the insertion of a wedding ring. Tinny music then serenades the young lovers, who can sign their marriage certificate with the pen and seal secreted in the seams on the white lace bustier.
