Every April 1, our hopes get dashed as wondrous possibility replaces mundane reality, only to disappear after 24 foolish hours. Life is good when you're able to watch your wish-fantasies come true.
When it comes to entertainment, some nagging dreams just won't die. Here are five of our own, touching upon film, television, comics, music and the internet.
Got your own impossible dreams? Get them off your chest in the comments section below.
Firefly Reboots, Fox Apologizes
After growing increasingly tired of pretending that 21st-century sci-fi television has a chance in hell of living up to Firefly's impressive benchmark, all the major entertainment networks, including Syfy, agree to fund a decade-long reboot of Joss Whedon's peerless sci-fi western.
All the original cast members return, including the always underrated Nathan Fillion, who has been allowed to leave the snoozy ABC mystery Castle for a much bigger payday. Whedon also contacts the franchise brainiacs at Lucasfilm for advice on expanding the Firefly universe, and Fox issues an apology for canceling the 2002 show after a single brilliant season.
Alan Moore Changes Mind, Oversees Movie Adaptation of Comics
After viciously savaging the films adapted from his groundbreaking comics From Hell, Watchmen, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and more, visionary writer Alan Moore takes matters into his own hands. Given a blank check by DC Comics' parent company Warner Bros. to develop reboots of those adaptations, as well as new films based on mind-warping comics like Lost Girls, Tom Strong and Swamp Thing, the iconoclastic Moore begins crafting a wish list of production talent to help Hollywood do justice to his work. In related news, Grant Morrison's iPhone hasn't stopped ringing for three days.
Pink Floyd Reunites, Will Tour With Radiohead, My Bloody Valentine
Founding Pink Floyd member Roger Waters and famous guitarist David Gilmour finally settle their differences to reunite the band, which will embark on a worldwide tour this summer. Drummer Nick Mason will join them, while Traffic and Blind Faith vocalist and keyboardist Steve Winwood has tentatively been offered the spot of the late, great Richard Wright.
The newly reunited Pink Floyd, which first merged mind-blowing music and visuals in the mid-'60s, plans to unveil an effects-rich holographic environment on its forthcoming tour, during which it will play the greatest hits and deepest cuts from its wide-ranging career, including the greatest concept album of all time, Dark Side of the Moon.
Members of opening bands Radiohead and My Bloody Valentine will round out Pink Floyd's rebooted rhythm section, sending rock fans scurrying for their wallets and hankies.
Neuromancer Film Arrives at Last
After decades of stops and starts, William Gibson's sci-fi novel Neuromancer will at last grace the silver screen.
Early word is that Avatar mogul James Cameron and Hobbit and Pan's Labyrinth auteur Guillermo del Toro are in the running for the director's chair. (The decision remains Gibson's, and he hasn't made one.)
Yet the prolific author has confirmed that Neuromancer will be energized by the next wave of immersive 3-D Imax technology, and that Keanu Reeves is out of the running as the film's antiheroic protagonist Case.
One additional confirmation: The soundtrack will be composed by the newly reunited Pink Floyd, and its backing bands Radiohead and My Bloody Valentine.
Studios, Labels Throw In Towel, Back BitTorrent Supersite
Discs have been dying for decades, and digital is the only way to go, major labels and studios admit at a massive press conference held in Los Angeles. All parties agree to set aside a collective $1 billion dollars to build a sprawling, internetworked supersite employing the BitTorrent protocol and featuring DRM-free libraries of music and movie catalogs.
The as-yet-unnamed site will allow users from any country to download any music, television or film release ever made for a per-title fee; the files can be stored on or transferred to any device. Plans are in place to create monthly and annual all-you-can-eat subscription tiers, allowing users to gorge on human culture's mind-bending visual and sonic history for an affordable price.
What's Your Foolish Dream?
Those are our April Fools' Day flights of fancy. What entertaining dreams about sci-fi, comics, music and culture in general do you dare to harbor? Let us know in the comments section below.
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