Remember the guy we told you about who desperately wanted someone to buy him a JetBlue unlimited travel pass? The guy who actually thinks flying every single day for a month will be fun? Well, he got his ticket.
We're the suckers who bought it for him.
Meet Brendan Ross, Wired.com's Terminal Man. The 28-year-old Texan is waiting for the feds to grant a security clearance so he can begin working as an air traffic controller. Until the FAA makes sure he's never applied for a position with the North Korean government, Brendan has no money, no responsibilities and a severe case of wanderlust. He figured jetting around for a month would pass the time, but he couldn't swing the ticket. We got wind of him after reading his funny Craigslist ad and offered him a job blogging about his adventures exploring JetBlue's route map.
Sounds like a cushy gig, no? Well, wait until you hear the rules. We aren't gonna make this easy on him. And we're going to let you, our dear readers, help us decide where he should go and what he should do.
Now then. About the rules. First and foremost, if he's not on a plane, he's in an airport. No hotels. Before you jump all over us for this, it was Brendan's idea. He told us he feels leaving the airport is cheating.
Second, he can't check any bags. Again, this was his idea. He carries everything with him.
Third, he has to fly every day if possible, with a planned itinerary of as many as 68 flights. Like Biff Henderson, he has to comply with any zany antics we foist on him, from getting the nicknames of every captain he flies with to finding the JetBlue E190 Sarah Palin chartered. He is totally cool with this, and in fact told us he would wear a chicken suit. (He owns one. Seriously.) We told him that wouldn't be necessary. Still, he's fully aware of just how grueling this will be.
"There's definitely a concern over the toll that so many flights will take," Brendan told us. "Add into that the physiological toll of sleeping in airports every night, being surrounded by people that usually don't want to talk to you…. It won't be a walk in the park."
No, it won't. The only thing that might save him from insanity is you. We're inviting readers to participate in Brendan's journey, but without sleeping in chairs and eating soggy overpriced Wolfgang Puck Express sandwiches. Let us know where you want him to go and what you want him to do. Follow his journey on Twitter and bring him some real food and a bar of soap if your paths cross. If he's feeling generous, you might even get some cool Wired swag.
Surprisingly, Ross doesn't seem too worried about any of this.
"A lot of people can relate to getting caught for a few hours, overnight, maybe even a day or two," he told us. "This is taking it to an extreme, setting me out there with just what you'd find in a typical carry-on."
While that guy who lived on an AirTran plane for a month at least got to put his seat in the reclined position once the plane took off, Brenan is stuck with long nights in terminals. He's a self-styled Mehran Karimi Nasseri or Hiroshi Nahara.
"That's usually going to mean hitting up those long, black and chrome seats you find everywhere," he said. "Once in a while I might have to manage outside if the airport kicks me out for the night. That's all right. I've been on some extended backpacking trips, and have slept in places worse than what you'll find in public airports. I have the feeling that the uglier the conditions are, the more interesting of a story it'll make."
Luckily for his fellow passengers and those brave Wired.com readers who venture into arrival lounges to meet him, Brendan says he'll maintain decent personal hygiene even without the benefit of a shower. How? We're not sure.
"I don't want to tip my hand just yet, but I will say that people aren't going to be uncomfortable sitting next to me once I get three weeks into the trip," he said. "I've had to share rows before with those guys with visible stink lines. It sucks, I know. I don't plan on imparting that experience onto anyone else."
Aside from overzealous TSA agents in tiny airports that aren't used to overnight guests, Brendan says the biggest hassle will be all the time away from his wife. "It was a downer at first, but we were able to come up with a free frequent flier ticket and cheap airfare to one of my stops, so I'll actually get to see her two or three times, albeit briefly," he said.
The great adventure begins when Ross leaves Austin, Texas on Sept. 8. He'll meet the Wired.com crew in San Francisco, then take to the air. We want you to help us decide where he goes and what he does. Use the Reddit Widget below to suggest destinations and stunts, and vote on your favorites.
Nothing too sadistic, please.
Photo: Brendan Ross
Here's your chance to play travel agent. Suggest destinations for Terminal Man, or some things he should do as he whiles away the time in an airport.
While you can submit as many suggestions as you want, you can only submit one every 30 minutes. No HTML allowed.
