__re: The New Rules__We like to think of ourselves as clever, but we can (usually) count on our readers to best us. Case in point: Critics of our Brad Pitt cover broke out the puns when they wondered if we'd secretly merged with Esquire. "Shouldn't you guys now be called Esqwired?" (Good one!) The tech-fashion police, meanwhile, had some good ideas for publicizing our "no Bluetooth headsets in public" edict. "I actually want to make copies of the cover the size of business cards and give them out to people who wear those things," one style maven wrote. (Wish we'd thought of that. But don't let our copyright lawyers catch you ...)
__Portion of Wired Staff Who Have Broken the Following Rules__2. 
Back up your hard drive
3. 
Leave your Wi-Fi open
4. 
Never BCC anyone
5. 
Don't Google-stalk before first date.
6. 
Don't work all the time, (Hi, McKinsey!)
7. 
Never go dirty Larping.
It's not a typo!
Dear eagle-eyed reader: We know it's spelled bastard. (We also know it's spelled inglorious, a point you neglected to mention.) We have both kinds of spell-checkers—human and machine. But the title of the movie starring Mr. Pitt is Inglourious Basterds [sic]. Don't blame us, blame the studio.
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Behave Yourself
I can't decide what I like better about your cover ("The New Rules," issue 17.08)—Brad Pitt or the stunning type design. On second glance, I think it might be the type. Thanks, Wired, for maintaining such a high level of graphic integrity. And to be fair, Pitt looks pretty damn good, too.
Heddy Lunenfeld
Atlanta, Georgia
I love you, Wired. I will step in front of a bullet for you, suck the venom out of your snakebite, and willingly sacrifice myself down a fiery volcano. So amen to Rule 52, Ditch the Headset. You don't look hot wearing it in the staff meeting; you look like a dork. The only person who can pull off that look is Lieutenant Uhura. If nobody else on the Enterprise was worthy, you aren't either.
Jennifer Kang
West Coxsackie, New York
I subscribe to only one magazine, which pales in comparison to my wife's several hundred. Who do I find on your cover? Brad Pitt. Seriously, Brad Pitt? How will I distinguish my Wired from all the celebrity mags in the house? Lots of necessary information is in the article, but seriously, Brad Pitt? I know the economy is slowing things down, but you didn't have to go there.
Kent Harms
Richmond, Texas
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45 million-year-old yeast? Confusing Interpretation of the Month
Responding to Erin Biba's story about beer made from 45 million-year-old yeast ("Second Life," issue 17.08), a writer at the Institute for Creation Research concluded that the organisms were so unbelievably old that, well, he didn't buy it. They must have come from the time of Noah's Flood instead. The resurrection of million-year-old organisms is "miraculous," "marvelous," and "enigmatic," and therefore impossible. Does that make God impossible as well?
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Keep Out!
"Leave Your Wi-Fi Open" (issue 17.08) is a tough call. I would really like to leave my wireless network open to others. However, I'm afraid of the RIAA and child porn, so I can't see it as a viable option. I don't think anyone in my neighborhood is into anything that might get my family a visit from a door-smashing SWAT team, but I can't risk finding out.
Excerpted from a comment posted to Wired.com by JUSTANOTHERENGINEER
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Wired design director Wyatt Mitchell. Top Models
Times are tough; perhaps you've heard? One way we reduce costs is by using our very attractive staff as models. The August "New Rules" package featured design director Wyatt Mitchell in an illustration, and in Found, senior art director Carl DeTorres and contributing designer Walter Baumann posed as dating prospects for deputy photo editor Anna Alexander. (In real life, they're all married to other people.) Our kids and pets have also been immortalized. In February's Found, senior editor Robert Capps admonished an unproductive employee whose desktop photo featured Alexander's two kids. One of them also played with a dinosaur in the September Found, while in 2003, executive editor Thomas Goetz's dog, Riley, was the Turing Terrier.
Body count:
10 appearances: Editorial operations manager Jay Dayrit
2: Wired.com associate editor Daniel Dumas, contributor Lisa Katayama, associate research editor Erik Malinowski, assistant research editor Rachel Swaby,
1: Editor in chief Chris Anderson (with daughter), copy editor Brian Dustrud, story editor Sarah Fallon, senior photo editor Zana Woods.
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Google's Monopoly
The Post Office, Social Security, and public schools are among the monopolies protected by the government, yet President Obama's antitrust chief Christine Varney worries about Google, which earned its success? ("Keyword: Monopoly," issue 17.08). Before she frets about the leaf in her neighbor's eye, Varney should remove the bundle of sticks from her own.
Andrew Lohr
Chattanooga, Tennessee
I am tired of your Google obsession. It's either some weird fetish or you get a check from them every month.
Excerpted from a comment posted to Wired.com by RODAK
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At a loss for sound. The Sound of Silence
Like Dilbert creator Scott Adams, I had spasmodic dysphonia, which cripples the voice ("Speechless," issue 17.08). Twenty years ago, the only surgical option for SD had a success rate of less than 20 percent. I worked with a speech pathologist to raise the pitch of my voice, first using a complex feedback apparatus and later a cheap musical keyboard. The problem recurs periodically, so I keep the keyboard nearby. When disaster strikes, I hit middle C before I pick up the phone and keep above that pitch while I'm talking. I also take it with me when I speak at conferences, just in case.
Excerpted from a comment posted to Wired.com by KATNAGEL
This article is fascinating. It implies that one can overcome the condition not so much by remapping one's brain but by using alternate "circuits," such as singing, rhyming, et cetera. The brain is still a wilderness.
Excerpted from a comment posted to Wired.com by ONLYMODERATELY
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Take This Job and...
Paul Boutin is right to view a change in employment, whether forced or through boredom, as a growth opportunity ("Go Ahead, Fire Me," Start, issue 17.08). But this is not restricted to Northern California. Generations X and Y are redefining the meaning of occupational loyalty. What is true for Silicon Valley is becoming true around the nation.
Aaron Donsky
San Francisco, California
It's good for you and good for the industry, says the reporter with a job. For now.
Excerpted from a comment posted to Wired.com by MENTY666
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Design flaw #4. Design Flaws
In"10 Worst Evolutionary Designs" (Start, issue 17.08), you forgot about one of the best arguments against the "theory" of intelligent design: the shared opening to the esophagus and trachea in humans (and many other mammals). Hundreds of choking deaths occur in the US every year due to food obstructions in the trachea. Doesn't seem too intelligent to purposefully design such a hazard.
Joseph Burdo
Assistant Professor of Biology Boston College
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
Let's add human testicles to the list. Seriously, would any decent designer place something so important in such a vulnerable location? Balls = proof against intelligent design.
Excerpted from a comment posted to Wired.com by CECILGREEN
And how about that whole "toxic waste disposal drain right in the midst of a recreational area" thing?
Excerpted from a comment posted to Wired.com by PHILKO
