After scientists created an “acoustic black hole” using Bose-Einstein condensates, our good friends over at Underwire pounded out a list of atrocious albums to throw into the sonic sucker.
As photographers — who rely on light — we're usually terrified of black holes. But we enjoyed Underwire’s black-hole list so much that we and everybody at Wired.com decided to get in on the action. Gadget Lab tossed annoying gear, Autopia banished bad cars, and Wired Science ousted hideous scientific clichés.
Now it’s our turn. Here are our top photography pet peeves that we would like to throw into the abyss.
Trite Flickr Comments
I think you all know what we're talking about. You attempt to say something thoughtful about your friend's photographs, but all that comes out is: Nice capture. Dude. Wow. Awesome. Way to go.
The list goes on and on, but some of the more annoying choices include multiple exclamation points, profanity and the overused misspelling of kuhl and sheot.
Say something constructive that starts a discussion, or don't say anything at all.
__High-Dynamic-Range (HDR) Photos __
We get it. We liked the first one we saw, too. Maybe even the 10th. But it's an overused gimmick that prevents people from making good photos that stand on their own. HDR needs to go the way of the animated gif and blinking HTML text.
Shutter Lag
There's nothing like the feel of the shutter closing instantly when you take a photo with a DSLR. You get the shot that you want and commune with the mechanics of the camera.
While the sensors of point-and-shoots keep increasing the quality of the photos, their actual shooting experience remains poopy. You press the button, and then a few hundred milliseconds later it snaps the picture. This delay is getting smaller with every new generation of camera, but we won't be happy until it's gone completely. It's the difference between playing Wii baseball and actually hitting a ball with a bat.
Watermarks
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Unless you're sneaking behind Apple's closed doors to photograph their next supersecret prototype and you're desperate for the credit, watermarks are just tacky. If you're concerned about people stealing your photos, don't post them on the internet.
The photography game today rewards openness and exposure. The watermark is either the sign of a newbie who doesn't know any better or insecure photographers who simultaneously thinks their photos are better than they are and that everyone is out to steal them.
Yes, it sucks when someone steals your photo when they should have paid you for it. Send them an invoice. Don't ruin your photos for everyone else who wants to enjoy them.
For photo editors looking for potential photographers, the watermark is usually just a sign of someone who will be difficult to work with. Either because they've been burned in the past and they're paranoid, or they just have an inflated idea of the market value of their work.
Wide-Angle Vertical
Seriously. Nobody and almost nothing looks good photographed with a wide-angle lens turned vertically. If you think your picture looks “cool” because you have turned your camera vertically and warped everything … you are wrong. Stop it.
__The Megapixel Discussion __
“How many megapixels does that camera have?”
We don’t know, and we really don’t care. The real question is: Can you make a picture with it? We hope so. And we care. We care about pictures.
Oversharing
Like we said above. We love photographs. We don’t even mind looking at a picture of your baby, dog, sister, summer vacation, mom, new shoes or latest haircut. We like it when you share your photographs with us on Flickr, Twitter or Facebook.
But come on, nobody wants to look at 45 photographs of your hangnail. Get an editor. Less is more. Truly.
Rock-Concert Strobage
Your flash won’t reach the stage. It will just light up the dude’s head who is standing in front of you – no matter how many times you look at the photo you just took, scratch your head and then raise up the camera to take another one. For people who know better, this becomes all they can see while their favorite band is shredding on stage.
Turn off the flash and try to keep your hand steady. That's all you can do.
The Arm's Length Self-Portrait
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Yes, it is nice to have a picture of yourself and Aunt Suzy standing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge, but ask someone to shoot it for you. We are tired, oh so tired, of checking out your nostril hair.
Cameras?
We wanted to throw a whole bunch of cameras down the black hole: cameras we have that drive us nuts, cameras we have tested that fall short of expectations, cameras with long shutter lag, cameras that were too heavy or too light, cameras that were too expensive.
We were gonna throw all kinds of cameras down the hole. But, in the end we decided the thing we most wanted to throw down the hole were photographers who were more interested in cameras than photographs. You know who you are, now get in the black hole, and don’t come back. It’s all about the picture.
Let us know what you would add to the list, and vote for the worst offenders below.
While you can submit as many pet peeves to throw into a black hole as you want, you can only submit one every 30 minutes. No HTML allowed.
