* Illustration: Jason Lee * Traditional mores say that texting when you're with someone is rude. But is it really? Just look at today's teenagers—tomorrow's arbiters of behavior. For them, SMSing one person while hanging out with another is normal and expected; it may even be an inclusive gesture.
Cultural anthropologists who have studied teen texting agree that it isn't just about instant gratification. According to Mimi Ito, an expert on the cellie habits of Japanese teens, texting those who couldn't be there lets everyone feel they're part of a larger social network. Indeed, many draw no distinction between socializing in person or by cell, and they see no reason to favor one over the other.
Granted, teenage manners rarely offer a model of etiquette. But here they reflect a great technological divide. This is the first generation to grow up with ubiquitous mobile access, and young folks are bound to carry the principles they've developed into adulthood. Like it or not, current teenage-texting habits will soon be the general norm.
So here's a rule of thumb for those of us playing catch-up: Feel free to text while talking or dining with friends—but only if you're trying to include someone who isn't there. If your motive is to shut out people you're with, you already know the answer.
Public environments—where strangers are present—bring up other issues. It's teen nature to want to text your BFFs during a movie ("OMG he got shot!"), but the bright displays on modern phones pose a serious distraction to those around you. In this sense, public texting could be compared to public smoking: Is it intrusive in a way that will annoy people near you? If so, thumbs down.
Related How To Behave: The New Rules for Highly Evolved Humans
Previous: Don't Google-Stalk Before a First Date Next: If You Can't Buy It Online, Feel Free to BitTorrent
