Don't Panic, May 25th is Towel Day

If you learned that the planet Earth was about to be destroyed to make room for an interstellar expressway, would you be prepared? I'm not talking about making peace with your God or clearing up all your debts. I'm talking about something much more important and useful. Do you have your towel?

You'd know if you did. It would be wrapped upon your neck and you'd feel secure and prepared for whatever the galaxy were to throw at you. May 25th is Towel Day, and you'd better have your towel because you never know what's coming, or going for that matter. Well, you may know what's going if you were watching what was coming go.

You may be asking yourself, "What is Towel Day?" Hopefully you are alone in the room because people generally frown on those who speak to themselves out loud in public. Towel Day is a day to commemorate The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it's omnificent creator Douglas Adams.

We lost the great Douglas Adams on May 11, 2001. Two weeks after his death, fans got together and named May 25th as "Towel Day" in honor of Douglas. This proposal was initially offered by D Clyde Williamson on May 14th in the "Binary Freedom" forum at System Toolbox.

"Douglas Adams will be missed by his fans worldwide. So that all his fans everywhere can pay tribute to this genius, I propose that two weeks after his passing (May 25, 2001) be marked as "Towel Day". All Douglas Adams fans are encouraged to carry a towel with them for the day.

Make sure that the towel is conspicuous - use it as a talking point to encourage those who have never read the Hitchhiker's Guide to go pick up a copy. Wrap it around your head, use it as a weapon, soak it in nutrients- whatever you want!"

This year, as we do every year we take a moment to hoist our thumbs up in the air and hope we don't end up in the cargo hold of a Vogon warship. However, if we have our towel on us we'll be perfectly prepared for whatever may come. Or go. But we've been over that in an earlier paragraph. So why the towel? What's so great about something seemingly so simple and basic? From Chapter 3 of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Let's ponder that logic for a second. If you have a towel, you are not only ultimately prepared but others around you will become aware of your ultimate preparedness and be randomly willing to assist to make sure you are even further prepared for you journey. Could you ask for anything more? This is what having a towel handy can do for you.

And now, you may want to avert your eyes as I gurgle forth an original rendition of poetry in true Vogon style:

"A Lament of Grevious Proportions Close in Theory to the Sun Rising Above my Window One Morning When I Didn't Remember Receiving the Appropriate Forms for Sun Rising"

Argh not moggled flatularly,
Do not tobblebogs flunder mostuary
Do not blotching hummerbing
That with flocking moogletiration bock
Over jargoned hill doth weigh
Hither to habbleblot I am
Into aggreviously noddle prognonstles
Doth thee slouch forgruviosuly
Or doth not slyujid moffis
And postuling draftly mine
Like piggle beetleverdle none
With wartfuzzle and urglenon
To be drangle and free
I am bluezbegotton
See if I don't.

In honor of Douglas Adams - so long and thanks for all the fish!!

Be sure to check Towelday.org for more Towel Day goings on.

Also, don't forget to pick up your 42 Utility Towl from ThinkGeek!