* Illustration: Christoph Niemann * According to my 23andMe DNA test, I have an above average chance of developing prostate cancer. Should I disclose this to my fiancée?
Cancer is arguably the scariest word in the English language, so your anxiety is perfectly natural. But this news is far less frightening than it sounds, a fact you should make clear while looping in your soul mate—which, yes, you should indeed do.
The 23andMe test looks for five genetic variations, known as single nucleotide polymorphisms, that are associated with an increased risk of prostate cancer. The more SNPs it finds, the higher your chance of getting the disease. Your personal odds, for example, are evidently north of the one-in-six average for American males. But don't panic. We're just beginning to understand the root causes of common diseases, and five measly SNPs scarcely tell the whole story. In fact, some argue that they tell us very little. "This test is not ready for prime time," says Steven Miles, a professor at the University of Minnesota's Center for Bioethics. Though the folks at 23andMe might quibble, it's worth noting that the company's terms of service state that your data "is not intended to be used for any diagnostic purpose."
Also, the 23andMe test sheds little light on when you might develop the cancer. You could be disease-free until well past your 85th birthday, by which time the big C may be as treatable as hemorrhoids. But even if medical science doesn't advance an iota by then, your prognosis will still be pretty good—the current five-year survival rate for prostate cancer is 98.9 percent.
Emphasize all these caveats when you break the news to your fiancée, and assure her that you'll take good care of yourself as the years pile up. If she still freaks out, perhaps you should be getting cold feet—if she can't handle this noncrisis, how is she going to react in a real emergency?
I want to get my friend into a drug rehab program, but I can't afford an in-patient center. Should I enroll him in an online program like eGetgoing, or is that like putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb?
Just as Band-Aids have their place in medicine, so, too, do the eGetgoings of the world, which offer virtual group sessions and one-on-one counseling chats. "The growing evidence is that they work, but they don't work all the time," says H. Westley Clark, director of the federal Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. "But that's no surprise—nothing works all the time for everybody." One eGetgoing study found that 85 percent of the group's clients were still sober nine months after participation.
Online programs are generally geared toward people who've already done a spin through treatment and are looking for a way to support their newfound sobriety. After all, a Web site can't force you to dry out the way a residential program can. If this is your friend's first, brutal visit to rock bottom, he'd likely be better off getting some real hands-on care. Your state's substance-abuse agency may be able to offer leads on low-cost or free assessment services. If you still can't find something affordable—or if your friend simply won't go—you might encourage a visit to the closest 12-step meeting. He may find some wisdom down in one of those church basements, and it won't cost a dime.
I just installed a video-sharing client on my BlackBerry—oh joy! But my wife says I'll ruin my eyesight if I watch too many clips on such a tiny screen. Is she right to be concerned about my peepers?
The primary danger here is short-term irritation. Given the screen's small size, you'll probably end up holding it pretty close to your face. "This places the viewer at higher risk for symptoms such as eyestrain, dry eyes, and sore eyes," says James Sheedy, a professor at the Pacific University College of Optometry. "However, there is no evidence nor reason to believe that this results in any long-term damage to the eyes." As for the potential effects of YouTube on your mind and soul—well, that's on you, my friend.
*Need help navigating life in the 21st century? Email us at *mrknowitall@wiredmag.com.
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