* Illustration: Hinterland * I scan the room. No arcade games. No man-sized rats in ball caps. This restaurant isn't what I expected from a Nolan Bushnell eatery. In fact, uWink—the latest dining concept from the man who founded both Chuck E. Cheese's and Atari—is filled with grown-ups, all huddled around touchscreen terminals. A few friends and I settle into a table at the far end of the sleek interior.
Outside, a simple sign announces the bistro's entrance. The place is wedged between a department store and a martial arts center, on the second floor of a mall in Woodland Hills, 25 miles northwest of Los Angeles. It's almost like Bushnell wanted to keep uWink's inaugural location low-key—a quiet experiment hidden in a lonely, overlooked corner of America. But in June, another restaurant booted up in Hollywood, and this fall eatery number three landed in Google's hometown of Mountain View. Wired wrote about Bushnell's plans for uWink back in October 2005 ("The Player," issue 13.10). It seemed about time to try it out.
Every table in the joint has a built-in monitor, and all ordering is done via touchscreen, making waiters obsolete. Oddly, a waiterlike person appears at my table. "Welcome to uWink," he says brightly. "Can I explain how things work here?" I look at the screen. It beckons me to swipe my credit card or driver's license. Seems pretty straightforward. "So what you want to do is swipe your credit card or driver's license," he says. Do I have to tip this guy ? Or maybe I'm supposed to tip the computer. What if I don't? Maybe it's coded with a cheapskate-detecting algorithm that will mess
up my order next time. The rules to this game are more slippery than I bargained for.
Soon after my fish tacos arrive via a black-clad runner—no personal interaction—the screen invites me to play a game. I say yes, and it gives me 30 seconds to look at a photo of 12 kids. Then it asks me how many had their hands up. I say one. Trick question: none did. The computer projects my name and score onto the wall next to the names of other, smarter patrons. I decide to stiff the damn machine.
I want to talk with one of my dinner companions, so I do my best to ignore the screen. But it keeps trying to get my attention. It wants to know if I would like to play a trivia game. Then a memory game. I ignore it.
When it comes time to pay, the computer seems to get spiteful. The cursor morphs into the pinwheel of death—a mean-spirited Mac mini is locked up inside the table and doesn't want me to leave. "Come on, let me go," I hear myself say to the screen. The pinwheel keeps spinning.
Finally, I flag down my host by shouting—a decidedly low tech approach that startles him. He recommends trying the screen on the other side of the table. Obviously, I have pissed this one off. When I call up the bill on the new machine, it asks if I want to leave a 15 percent tip. Angering a waiter is one thing, but getting on the bad side of a computer network that has your credit card or driver's license info is another. I hit "OK."
Start Previous: What's Inside - Downy Coats Briefs With Horse Fat Next: 10 Best NASA Spinoffs Race for Reservations Turns New York Eatery Into Net Obsession
The Future of Food: How Science Will Solve the Next Global Crises
