More Fine Print than Free Cookies From JetBlue

Looking for a case study in direct-to-consumer marketing gone horribly wrong? Check out this e-mail we got from JetBlue offering us a $50 flight voucher:

Just register for this promotion on jetblue.com/buynowjetlater then book a roundtrip flight on jetblue.com between September 9 and September 21, 2008 for travel between October 15 and November 15, 2008 and we’ll send you a $50 Voucher good for travel on JetBlue between January 8 and February 9, 2009. Vouchers will be emailed on or after November 30, 2008. Offer expires 11:59pm MDT September 21, 2008. Restrictions apply.

This epic run-on sentence violates the first rule of marketing — make the pitch simple enough for people to, you know, understand it. As convoluted as the pitch is, it’s nothing compared to the fine print — a 741 word treatise more complex than the Iraqi constitution.

Go ahead. Just try to make heads or tails of this:

Offer expires 11:59 p.m. MDT September 21, 2008.  TrueBlue Members in good standing who register for this promotion at jetblue.com/buynowjetlater http://jetblue.com/buynowjetlater  and purchase roundtrip travel on JetBlue between September 9 and September 21, 2008 for travel between October 15 and November 15, 2008 ("Qualifying Travel") are eligible to receive a $50 Voucher toward future JetBlue travel.  Registration must be done prior to travel.  Booker and traveler must be the same person.  If booker and traveler are different, Voucher will not be awarded.  Voucher will be awarded only upon completion of the return portion of the Qualifying Travel. Qualifying travel must be completed by November 15, 2008.  Redemption of TrueBlue Award Flights, Travel Certificates, or other non-revenue travel is not eligible for this Offer.  If Qualifying Travel is canceled, changed outside the eligible travel window, or is not flown, Voucher will not be awarded or, as applicable, forfeited.  Voucher(s) will be awarded electronically on or after November 30, 2008 and after completion of return portion of Qualifying Travel. If a single itinerary has more than one instance of Qualifying Travel, only one Voucher will be awarded.  If booker is not a TrueBlue Member or has not registered for this promotion prior to travel, Voucher will not be awarded. Offer may not be combined with other special offers and is available only for newly-booked travel; changes to existing travel are not eligible. Voucher may be applied only to future JetBlue travel that takes place between January 8 and February 9, 2009, exclusive of the blackout period from January 15 to January 19, 2009. If Voucher travel is changed outside of this window, Voucher will be forfeited and you will be responsible fare difference and applicable change fee of $100. Voucher may be used only toward newly-booked travel and may not be applied to existing travel or changes to travel. Voucher will be deducted off of total fare. Any amount that may remain on Voucher will be forfeited.  Voucher may be used on roundtrip or one-way flights.  Voucher is non-transferable and may not be combined with other offers. Voucher may not be redeemed for cash and may not be used toward the purchase of a JetBlue Gift Card, JetBlue Cruise, or JetBlue Getaway Package.

WTF? If you have the time and energy to figure this out, we’ll just give you the damn voucher.