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Welcome to the very first edition of Bot Psychology, Underwire’s new weekly column where bloggers Jenna Wortham and Angela Watercutter analyze (Okay, snark about) hot issues in tech and culture.
Bot Psychology is inspired by Jezebel’s Pot Psychology, wherein writer Tracie “Slut Machine” Egan and Rich Juzwiak from FourFour [Eds note: Love them!] offer relationship advice while stoned. Yeah, this is like that, only geekier. And not really about relationships (this is more like our therapy). And probably not as fashion-forward. And over iChat (video coming soon!). Oh, and the only thing we’re high on is life and lattes - cross our hearts and swear to Flying Spaghetti Monster. But it'll be awesome, promise.
Our inaugural edition of BP kicks off with a bot-by-bot analysis of this Sunday's edition of The New York Times Magazine's cover story, starring former Gawker blogger Emily Gould. Gould wrote a lengthy narrative for the magazine about her experiences spilling the dirty details of her life online -- which Huffington Post writer Rachel Sklar noted weighed in at 7,937 words, topping out a investigate expose on the Pentagon, which clocked in at a mere 7,486. Readers exploded over the magazine's story, which is in today's Sunday edition but was posted online earlier this week, flooding the site with comments, causing the *Times *to close comments within 24 hours.
This week(end), Watercutter (QBot) and Wortham (FemBot) discuss the Gould blogospheric backlash, the downfalls of online overshare and, speaking of, last night's booty basement dance party. The meta-ness starts after the jump.
QBot: So, masturbatory meta-blogging, what do we think?
FemBot: Meh.
FemBot: I mean, you know, it's interesting. I just can't help but wonder if there are bigger things underfoot we should be obsessing over. Like Hillary's "Kennedy was assassinated in June" comment.
QBot: Yeah, but with their lead times, the story was already up when Hillary made that comment, it couldn't have gotten in the magazine.
QBot: I think it's kind of great, in an inside baseball kind of way.
FemBot: Well true -- I guess it's at least as entertaining as Living Lohan.
FemBot: Which is on tomorrow night, so there's that.
FemBot: True.
QBot: But you're right, there are more important issues.
QBot: You know, I totally agree that it's weird that Emily
Gould's piece got as much if not more length than the Pentagon piece, but I think that needs to be weighed against the fact that the NYT has done hundreds of Pentagon pieces and this is just one lengthy piece on oversharing bloggers.
FemBot: It's also a big ole pink elephant in the room
-- I mean, who are these bloggers and what do they do? It's fascinating.
QBot: p.s. Speaking of Living Lohan, did you hear about Lindsay DJing Naomi Campbell's birthday party at Cannes?
QBot: Go LiLo!
FemBot: We need a photo!
FemBot: Do you think there's some weird tie-in to the Sex and the City movie release?
FemBot: Gould DID coin the term "Scary Sadshaws," which I will forever remain indebted to her for.
QBot: Yeah, and she's now blogging about the 36 hours of Sex and the City she watched last week.
FemBot: Totally --
FemBot: Well it's all about the new celebrity
FemBot: We love to watch people make total fools out of themselves and elevate them to stardom because of it.
FemBot: Not that Gould is a idiot, not at all, I think she's got talent in dem dere fingers.
QBot: I wonder if the piece was intentionally tied to the release of the movie, just because Emily is, in her own way, the
Carrie Bradshaw of the Greenpoint hipster generation.
QBot: No, she's completely talented.
FemBot: Oh em gee! Totally.
FemBot: She IS the hipster Carrie.
FemBot: Her tattoo sporting, American Apparel wearing doppelganger.
QBot: She rocks her tattoos like Carrie rocks Manolo's, no doubt.
FemBot: But ya know, it's the whole can't tear our eyes away from a trainwreck that we set on course effect -- I mean, in a twisted way, we're the self-involved narcissistic voyeurs here.
FemBot: We wouldn't even BE talkin' bout her without being the ones who made her "famous."
FemBot: Stupid, haters.
QBot: Well, yeah, of course, I mean, here we are, IMing on a
Sunday about bloggers writing about a story in a magazine by a blogger, about being a blogger. Or whatever.
QBot: I have to say I related to the part where she talks about having panic attacks.
FemBot: It's all very meta.
FemBot: Totally.
QBot: Wait, was THAT an overshare?
QBot: Crap.
FemBot: Haha -- you forgot to add "here we are, nursing hangovers from last night's dirty disco with champagne and bacon, while
IMing on a Sunday about bloggers writing about a story in a magazine by a blogger, about being a blogger. Or whatever."
FemBot: That's an overshare.
FemBot: A good one, in fact.
QBot: Oh, right, yeah.
QBot: Can I just say that I'm so happy that Booty House is making a comeback?
FemBot: The NYT should have linked their story to their earlier coverage about blogging to death.
FemBot: Honest to blog, that would have been perfect.
QBot: Honest to blog? I hate you.
FemBot: I thought it was appropriate!
FemBot: I mean, speaking of overshare.
FemBot: Diablo Cody reigns queen supreme.
QBot: My bologna has a first name, it's OSCAR.
FemBot: And it won her an Oscar.
FemBot: (Good timing.)
QBot: Completely.
QBot: Do you followher Twitter feed?
FemBot: I do!
QBot: It's AMAZING.
FemBot: She hasn't reciprocated.
FemBot: It's sorta like your "How many days till Lindsay Ronson accepts my Facebook friend request" quest to see how long it takes.
QBot: Seriously!
QBot: Lindsay, if you're reading this, I'm still in your queue. Just sayin'...
FemBot: Ditto re: Diablo.
FemBot: I personally blame VH1 for our obsession with microcelebs.
FemBot: Srsly, we friggin' love to watch the rise to fame and the ultimate downfall from it.
QBot: I don't understand why these famous people with so many better things to do don't accept friend requests from total strangers.
FemBot: Oh snap! Emily should get her own reality show.
FemBot: Or web show.
FemBot: Oh MAN!
FemBot: Can we pitch that to VH1 and E!?
QBot: I would totally watch.
FemBot: OR -- even better -- an I Love Money death brawl of the self-promotionoal blogosphere.
FemBot: Scuse the misspellings -- that's the extra booze at brunch kickin' in.
QBot: Her and Julia Allison as a tag-team would make my life.
FemBot: Who else could we recruit for that show?
QBot: It could be like a Uwe Boll thing where they take on all their comment haters.
FemBot: YES! and duke it out in a live-action comment forum.
FemBot: Dibs on yellin "first!!1!"
FemBot: Wonder if Scoble would be on the show.
FemBot: Gotta get some of the Twitterati.
QBot: Seriously. Dibs on saying something completely asinine and off-topic, just to shout into the ether.
QBot: I'd like to see Jason Calacanis throw down. He already has that cute-ass dog to be his mascot.
FemBot: Ooh can cutie Kevin Rosemake a cameo? With his shirt off?
QBot: Speaking of, Calacanis totally just popped up on my IM client - Hi Jason!
FemBot: That's a whole 'nother show.
QBot: MTV Spring Break -- Diggnation!
FemBot: Geeks Gone Wild!!
FemBot: With Mat Honan steppin' in a referee.
QBot: Do you remember when we did Girls Gone Wired and threw
Danny from Gadget Lab into a pile of boxes and hit him with an inflatable tree?
FemBot: Haha, classic.
QBot: BTW, Mat Honan is my new bicycle, srsly.
FemBot: He told me to tell you hello.
FemBot: And he skated here all the way from the beach just to see you!
FemBot: Too bad he's not online, I would make him come meet us here.
QBot: Aww.
QBot: Seriously, he's probably like at the cafe up the street.
FemBot: Check his Twitter feed to see!'
QBot: So, back to the topic, it's amazing to me how many people are going crazy with the haterade on Emily's piece.
QBot: I wonder if those were the same people who gave her shit back in the day.
FemBot: Zackly -- when they themselves drank the Gould/Gawker Kool-Aid.
FemBot: In summary, though, in the spirit of Vice "Do's and Don'ts."
FemBot: Do: lay your shit on the line because whatever, fools will want to read it. And its better than the real world, which totally sucks. Unless Gould will be on the new Brooklyn edition.
FemBot: Don't: flay your ex, who also happens to be a blogger, and not expect repercussions.
FemBot: Your turn.
QBot: Honestly, I just wish my former employer dedicated umpteen posts to my NYT Mag piece and then people spent their whole weekends talking about me.
QBot: How's that for self-involved blogger?
FemBot: Right?
FemBot: I mean, honestly, this whole kerfluffle is even better than the Miley Cyrus* Vanity Fair* cover.
FemBot: So, moving on, here's our new goal -- photos of us with LiLo and SamRo.
QBot: Um, yes please! I would die happy if that ever happened.
QBot: Speaking of people who get waay too much hateration for no good reason.
QBot: (Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, and really Miley Cyrus for that matter.)
FemBot: Brings everyone -- Gould, Gawker,* SATC* -- back into relevance with a mildly inflammatory story that makes us vaguely question our cultural worth as a society, or something better well articulated.
FemBot: Ya know?
QBot: No, that's actually perfectly articulated.
QBot: I think we just like distraction.
FemBot: Yeah, freals.
FemBot: And the bloglash hasn't even been THAT bad.
QBot: And also, I think blogging, esp on Gawker blogs, brings these communities together and sometimes there's great dialog, and sometimes people just try to holler each other down. But, now it's just happening on the NYT, which is kind of a paradigm shift.
FemBot: Or a last minute death rattle to try and rack up the same PVs and commentary culture that Gawker has down pat.
QBot: Exactly.
FemBot: I agree tho, such masturbatory meta-ness is best left to the experts -- the Gawkerati.
QBot: Agreed.
FemBot: What's on tap for next week's Bot Psycho?
FemBot: Hrm :/
QBot: Well, gee, I dunno. "How to Get Rejected By Your Fave Famous Person on Facebook/Twitter?"
FemBot: Sweet. I can't wait! Cobra Kai AKA our obsession never die!!
QBot: Sweet!
Have an idea of something we should dissect in next week's edition of Bot Psychology? Drop us a line and let us know.
Photo of Emily Gould via the New York Times
See also:
- Wired Nerds Chat Speed Racer
- Alt Text: Scrutinizing Superheroines
- Dollhouse Fans Campaign to Save Show -- Before its 2009 Airdate
*Underwire 2.0: Jenna Wortham's Del.icio.us feeds; The Underwire on Twitter and *Facebook.
