Illustration: Christoph Niemann I've read that it's bad to let kids younger than 2 watch TV. Does that mean I shouldn't hold my 1-month-old son while watching Lost? It seems to me the tyke has no idea what's going on, but I'd hate to cause developmental problems.
In a perfect world — one in which caring for an infant didn't result in relentless, soul-crushing exhaustion — you'd spend every waking moment quietly talking to your darling boy. But let's face it: When you're a newly minted parent charged with rocking a wailing baby to sleep at 3 am, staying sane sometimes means zoning out with TiVo remote in hand. And the fact is, there's no scientific research that conclusively proves you're causing any damage. "We should encourage the baby to bond with a human, not with a screen," says Donald Shifrin, vice chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics' Council on Communications and Media. "But if a parent is asking, Will it be harmful?' Well, on balance probably not."
The equation changes when infants transition out of what's known as the fourth trimester and start to become more cognizant of their surroundings. Shifrin notes that such older babies "will always orient to visual stimuli"; as a result, it's probably best if those signals are interactive — like a parent's expressive face — rather than cartoons interspersed with ads for Cheetos.
In the end, though, it mostly comes down to common sense: Pediatricians seem to mostly fear that parents will use the boob tube as a babysitter and therefore skimp on human contact. So don't beat yourself up if you occasionally want to bounce Junior on your lap while catching up on Law & Order. But definitely resist the urge to let him watch SpongeBob all by his lonesome while you sit in the kitchen slurping cabernet.
Is it kosher for me to create 30-second ringtones out of my (legally purchased) MP3s, then post them for free download on my Web site? That has to be better than posting entire songs, right?
Sort of. According to a 2006 ruling by the federal Register of Copyrights, most ringtones do not qualify as so-called derivative works. As a result, they can be recorded and distributed as long as the copyright owners of the source material are properly compensated. And according to Jessica Litman, an intellectual property expert at the University of Michigan Law School, the fair-use doctrine should exempt you from even that obligation if you keep those ringtones confined to your own cell phone.
But if you start spreading those ringtones around, claiming fair use isn't going to get you off the hook. If your site comes to the attention of the copyright holder, they will have a pretty good case for demanding payment. Do you really want to pay thousands of dollars for the "privilege" of letting anonymous freeloaders enjoy 30-second snippets of the latest Snoop Dogg joint? Mr. Know-It-All thought not.
Am I obligated to share my laptop password with my wife? I don't have anything incriminating on there, but shouldn't I be allowed a little private space?
Thankfully, "I waive all rights to privacy" isn't part of the traditional wedding vows. "We don't want our spouse to be Big Brother," says Pepper Schwartz, a University of Washington sociologist and relationship expert for Perfectmatch.com. "We want them to be our partner." You're entitled to keep small parts of your life off-limits from your wife, as long as you honestly explain your reasons for wanting to do so.
Illustration by: Christoph NiemannConversely, the missus needs to be upfront about why she's insisting on access. Is it simply because she wants to use your iTunes library? Or is it because you've been coming home at 3 am with missed belt loops? Either way, talking out your respective motives is a must.
Even though you're within your rights to keep the password secret, there could be a price to pay. Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men, warns that such a decision will inevitably fray marital trust. But there's room for compromise: You can share the password — if she'll swear not to snoop in certain areas, like the My Documents folder. Can't trust her to honor such a pact? Well, then your marriage may have deeper problems than Mr. Know-It-All is certified to handle.
Need help navigating life in the 21st century? Email us at mrknowitall@wiredmag.com.
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