Gear

Video Gallery: Best Vintage Tech Commercials

We take a look back at how companies try to convince an incurious public to buy computers or videogames during times when TV audiences weren't as tech savvy as they are today, and find some comic results.
Selling computers and videogames used to be much more difficult. Back when it was considered impressive to be able to...
Selling computers and videogames used to be much more difficult. Back when it was considered impressive to be able to display both blue and light blue, actual screenshots tended to congregate at the intersection of boring and repulsive. That's why a generation was raised thinking that the main purpose of a home computer was to store recipes. These ads take a slightly more elaborate approach to selling geek materials to the geeky, bringing in anything from transvestitism to Shatner -- although, sadly, not a transvestite Shatner. Let us know what your favorite tech commercials are in the comments section.

Apple 1984

Left: With one ad, shown on national TV only once, Apple brings personal style to home computing. Forget about specs and expandability. Everyone else is a drone in dusty gray jammies, and you're a busty blonde with a big hammer. That'd make a good "I'm a Mac, I'm a PC" ad, actually.

Japanese Zelda Ad:

Man, the Japanese got all the good ads! A cross-dressing, line-dancing, rap-backed Link who saves Zelda from a big rubber Ganon puppet? Almost completely awesome.

Switch:

This ad from Apple's 2002 "Switch" campaign got a lot of attention because the actress appeared to be "under the influence," or "not all there," or "completely high on marijuana." She eventually revealed that she was just taking Benadryl, but not before thousands of stoners went out to buy laptops and Fritos.

Blast Processing:

In the 1990s, Nintendo and Sega battled tooth and nail (or plumber and hedgehog) for the home videogame market. Sega's secret weapon was "blast processing," illustrated in this commercial by a dragster and a crappy van. So what's blast processing? Well, it makes it so ... well, you see, the pixels ... HEY LOOK, A RACE CAR!

'Banned' Xbox Commercial:

The web has been a great place to see so-called "banned" commercials. These are ads that don't appear on television, but somehow get released into the wild anyway. One of the first and best was this ad for the Xbox 360. Was it really banned? Well, Microsoft's lawyers aren't exactly working overtime to keep it off the web.

Pole Position:

Wow, this makes Pole Position for the Atari 5200 look totally amazing! Well, it does if you ignore the parts that actually show the game. Nowadays you'll see an entire commercial using actual game footage, but back then the rule was "Show just enough of the game graphics to keep the FCC off your case."

AT&T 'You Will':

In the early '90s, AT&T took the bold step of taking credit for everything good that happens until the heat death of the universe. I've actually done some of these things, like paying a toll while driving or buying a baby from a cash machine, but I don't think AT&T had much to do with it.

Vic 20:

Shatner, baby! The Vic-20! It plays Space Invaders! It has a real computer keyboard! The wonder computer of the 1980s! (As opposed to the wonder computer of the 1880s, which was a particularly clever goat.) Also: Shatner!

Intellivision Burger Time Ad:

And here you thought survival horror games started with Resident Evil. I never really considered what it would be like to be chased, forever chased by walking hot dogs and pickles, but now that I have gazed into the abyss, I may never sleep again.

Commodore 64:

I'm actually pretty impressed, here. All I ever got my Apple II to do was print "LORE IS COOL" over and over again. I notice they never asked the Commodore 64, though. I'm guessing its answer was "For God's sake go outside and throw a ball around."

Star Wars Toys:

Ha! Remember when the toy stores were filled with all sorts of needless Star Wars junk for kids to buy? Boy, things have changed. Now there's even more needless Star Wars junk, but it's being bought by adults trying to make their cubicle "cool."