Illustration: Christoph Niemann Mr. Know-It-All: Emailing China, Ordering Absinthe, Informing Your Kids
When I'm emailing my friend — a Chinese citizen — in Shanghai, should I avoid mentioning politics? I don't want the guy to end up in a prison camp.
You're right to be wary, since Chinese ISPs regularly intercept emails that contain what the government deems to be controversial keywords. If you're planning to name-check Falun Gong or the Dalai Lama, even in jest, don't be shocked if your email fails to reach its destination. A single injudicious email, however, probably isn't enough to land your friend in hot water. "If you're not planning to organize any actual regime-threatening action or provoke others to do so, you're pretty much free to blather to your heart's content," says Rebecca MacKinnon, an assistant professor at the University of Hong Kong's Journalism and Media Studies Center. In other words, if your friend is just an Average Guo, there's little threat of the occasional anti- Communist quip resulting in his arrest.
But if your pal is involved in delicate matters — say, organizing strikes or religious gatherings — then you both need to exercise the utmost caution. Odds are the guy is already under surveillance, and the authorities may be looking for an excuse to lock him up. A foreigner's careless email may be just the pretext they need.
There are, of course, steps your friend can take to dodge Big Brother. For starters, he should email only from cyber-cafes, preferably ones without cameras. It's also imperative that he steer clear of Chinese email services, as well as foreign-branded services like Yahoo.com.cn. MacKinnon says that email services inside China are obligated to hand over user data and communications to Chinese cops whenever they ask for it.
Gmail is a better option, particularly if your buddy uses the secure HTTPS protocol. He should also consider using an anonymizing tool like Tor (tor.eff.org), which offers instructions in Chinese.
You could also consider ditching email altogether in favor of Skype; the network protects its phone calls with 256-bit encryption. Just make sure your friend downloads the requisite software from Skype's international site; the Chinese-language Skype site is reputed to place spyware on user's computers... which would kind of defeat the purpose.
Illustration: Christoph NiemannWill I run into problems if I order absinthe online from a supplier based in Europe?
Perhaps, Mr. Van Gogh. US Customs and Border Protection is responsible for checking all shipments from overseas, and the agency's take on the Green Fairy seems pretty cut-and-dried: "The importation of absinthe and any other liquors or liqueurs that contain Artemisia absinthium is prohibited." So there's always the risk that Customs will seize your package.
Thankfully, absinthe enthusiasts report that seizures are rare, particularly when there's just a bottle or two at stake; Mr. Know-It-All confesses that he's among the countless Americans who've successfully ordered the fabled liqueur from Europe. Some suppliers, like Britain's AbsintheClassics.com, use couriers instead of shipping services and guarantee safe delivery to the US.
But before you plunk down $168 for a bottle of Jade Edouard, it's probably worth checking with your state liquor authority, too. Several killjoy states prohibit the delivery of liquor to private residences, regardless of whether the tipple in question is absinthe or Yukon Jack.
When my newborn twins eventually ask how they came to be, should I tell them about the fertility drugs that were likely responsible for the multiple birth?
Absolutely, as long as you're careful to reassure the kids that they were extremely wanted — even if, truth be told, you panicked upon learning that you had two buns in the oven. "Parents can explain in simple terms that mommy needed help in order to have her babies, and that she and daddy wanted their special babies in order to complete their family," says Susan J. Alt, editor-in-chief of Twins magazine.
If you're concerned that your kids will get teased should word of their drug-assisted conception hit the playground, relax. Plenty of grade schoolers circa 2014 will have been conceived with the aid of fertility treatments, so there shouldn't be any stigma. Remember, it was less than three decades ago that test-tube babies were considered curiosities; now, no one bats an eye.
As for when to broach the topic, somewhere between fourth and sixth grade seems right. "Maybe wait until your children are learning these kinds of things in school," advises Nancy L. Segal, author of Indivisible by Two: Lives of Extraordinary Twins. Once your twins have grasped the basics of eggs and zygotes, they're definitely ready to hear about your reproductive kick-start.
Need help navigating life in the 21st century? Email us at mrknowitall@wired.com.
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