Back in American high school, I knew an interesting Irish kid named Eamonn with a frantic appreciation for all things Transformers. Well into his late teens he cultivated an impressive collection of Autobots and Decepticons: perhaps most amazingly, he was eventually convinced to give these away to a charity on his eighteenth birthday. When he went to the charity to drop off his carefully boxed treasures, he innocently asked the woman where she wanted him to "set them up." He apparently envisioned a Transformers display of carefully posed robot battles and practically burst into tears when he was ordered to drop them all in a gigantic cardboard box full of sticky, half-broken toys.
It was through Eamonn that I was acquainted with Stan Bush's "The Touch", a classic hair metal song from the Transformers movie soundtrack. To this day, it rivets me. It seems like many of my youthful anecdotes feature the song playing in the background (for example, the time my friend Stacey and I went to see the Black Power Ranger at the Revere McDonald's, who started break dancing to the song and concussed himself practically unconscious when he slammed his head against the side of a trash bin while spinning on the ground).
Now the new Transformers film is coming out. I am not hopeful: directed by Michael Bay and featuring truly appalling updated character designs, it looks appalling. But one thing could save it for me: if Stan Bush's "The Touch" somehow found its way onto the soundtrack. It's a shot in the dark, but even Stan seems to be giving it a go: his Wikipedia entry reports that he's submitted a track to the producers of the new film and is now sitting around waiting for a response.
If ever there was a time for an Internet movement, it is now. Get Stan Bush on the Transformers soundtrack! It's the only thing that can prevent Michael Bay from spreading his buttocks apart and constricting his bowels all over our childhoods.
Speaking of Transformers: Have You Got The Touch? [Idolator]
