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If you've never been initiated into Scientology, you've likely never seen this recruitment video: a bizarre, empty and fatuous exposition on the religion, which manages to say almost nothing about what they actually believe... which is, of course, that a Galactic Emperor froze billions of aliens in carbonite, dumped them in a volcano and then brainwashed their souls, which eventually became humans like you and me. Not that you'd know it from watching this, which spends almost as much time recounting court rulings reiterating Scientology is really, totally a religion as it does meandering around the whole "Xenu" thing.
