Hanzo the Razor: The Longest Arm of the Law

When I was 18 or so, a remarkable Japanese bootleg made its way through the many grimy hands of the Boston video trading scene: Rapeman.

The premise was simple: Rapeman — high school teacher by day, superhero, crimefighter and private detective by night — dispensing his peculiar brand of justice. His business motto? "Righting wrongs through penetration." Girlfriend broken up with you? Business partner getting a little bit too big for his britches? Interested in bonding your family through crisis? Call Rapeman. He cares.

Rape is, of course, appalling, but Rapeman was so earnest about it and his victims so into it that the camp factor was high. I always thought this was a bizarre anomaly in the annals of Japanese cinema, but Fleshbot writes about Rapeman's incredible precedent, Hanzo the Razor: The Longest Arm of the Law.

But imagine if instead of a San Francisco police officer, Harry was a Japanese samurai, and instead of a .44 Magnum he carried a much more powerful weapon under his robes. That's the premise behind "Hanzo the Razor," a trilogy of samurai-cop mashup adventures starring a hero who always gets his man—and his women, usually after "interrogating" them with legendarily strong penis. (The same penis that he strengthens by dousing with boiling hot water and pounding on an anvil.)

Splashing boiling water over your genitals before hitting themn repeatedly with a blacksmith's hammer? Sounds like a Saturday night at the Brownlee bachelor pad. There's a trailer at Fleshbot you must check out.

Hanzo The Razor: "The Longest Arm Of The Law" [Fleshbot]