New Soldier Defense: Trampolines

Forget all those new-fangled reinforced vehicles. Never mind the real-life "force fields," or the gadgets which knock incoming rockets out of the sky. The best way to protect our troops is with trampolines. Well, at least according to a trio of Oregon tinkerers, who today received a patent for "an anti-projectile, anti-spall, anti-ricochet, trampoline-action armor panel."

Following a projectile strike which is first greeted by the self-healing elastomeric coating, and then energy-dissipated by tile fragmentation, there follow a trampoline-like-energy-quelling response principally offered by the cooperative stack of flex back-up fabric layers which are specially edge bound against relative edge movement, but which are permitted to slide relative to one another in facial frictional engagement for further energy-dissipation action. Trampoline action is enhanced by load-transmission bonding which exists between the back-up core layers, the core-wrap structure, and the outer elastomeric coating.

Me, personally, I always liked the flying airbag defense idea. Or the spray-on armor. But I guess they couldn't double as mascot training tools. So never mind.

UPDATE: Snark aside for a minute. As *Murdoc *notes, none of the vehicles we've currently got in Iraq -- from the thick-walled Abrams tank to the skinnier Stryker -- is completely safe from insurgent attacks. And it's not like they're about to suddenly become invulnerable. So bring on the armor ideas -- even the wacky ones.

(High five: AE)